Simply Lou: Walter the Wonder Dog

article and illustration by Lou Davenport
original drawing, prismacolor on paper

I’m going to do this month’s column a little differently. Dr. Phil says that “even if a pancake is flat, there’s always two sides.” With that said, I’m going to have a guest columnist, Mr. Walter Davenport, give his side to our story.

On July 26, “The Brat Pack” and I welcomed, well, I welcomed, a new member to our home. “Walter the Wonder Dog” came to live with us and life has certainly not been the same since.

The day before, I received a frantic call from my daughter, Carolyn telling me that their neighbors were moving and that they couldn’t take all their dogs with them. She went on to say there was one that needed ME! He had “anxiety issues” like me and that we needed each other. To quote her, she said, “Mama, I have found you a man. The perfect man for you.” Their neighbors were frantic to find him a new home. I was strong at first, politely declining, thinking that the “Brat Pack” would NOT be happy with me bringing home a dog! ( I’d tried getting a dog once, and it just didn’t work out very well with them.) But….then…
They sent me his picture…..

Oh my word, I am a sucker for a man with salt and pepper hair. And big brown eyes. Big ears and crazy, wild hair. The old song, “Just One Look” came to mind and, of course, I said, “Bring him on over tomorrow!” I had to get dog food, a doggie bed, dog toys! This has been a dog proof house for years! All my “Brat Pack” really likes to play with are Amazon boxes.

The next day was the big “Welcome Walter Day,” and I was so ready to meet him in person! I tried to explain to the “Brat Pack” what was going to happen. Yes, I know, I’m crazy. I talk to the cats. (But, they haven’t answered me yet, so I have that going for me!) Carolyn and Ty brought Walter on over to my house.
Oh! He was happy to be here! And, I could tell he was crazy about Carolyn and Ty, so I asked them to be his Godparents! He bounced right up beside me on the couch and hasn’t left my side much since! He also makes every step I make! Yes, it was “love at first sight!”

Walter’s original name was, “Beast” but he certainly doesn’t look like a beast to me! He’s way too handsome and charming. I choose to “re-name” him Walter!

Ty said he looked like “Walter Matthau” and I had to agree. So not only does he get to be “Walter” he gets to be called “the thief of hearts and the gangster of love!” (from the movie, “Grumpy Old Men”) He loves women and already has a fan club! “Holy Moly!” He really does love every woman he meets and charms them to no end! He’s shameless!

Walter had also spent most of his life in a crate. Not that his former owners were not good to him, but they both worked and had very busy lives. I vowed he wouldn’t live in that crate. The one time I put him in it just to get one of the cats to come in, he whimpered, cried and was so sad, I couldn’t stand it. No crate for Walter. He has his own house now! He hasn’t slept a minute in the bed I bought for him. He sleeps with me on the couch, because the Brat Pack have taken over my room as their headquarters now. I don’t know, if I’ll ever get my room back. I have a feeling they are “plotting” their revenge to get me back for getting a dog! How dare I?

Being half Boston Bull Terrier and half Yorkshire Terrier gives Walter a real interesting look. He is shaped like a Boston Bull but has wiry, wavy hair. He has whiskers and eyebrows that are stubby and a stub tail. He’s five years old now, and I guess he has “premature” gray hair. But, he is a “cutie patootie” and he knows it! Carolyn says I’ve helped him with his “self esteem!”

He is also a very anxiety ridden little dog, and I think he’s already doing better here. I identify with him, I have anxiety attacks myself. It’s not fun. I plan on getting him into being a service dog for me as well as him. He can go everywhere then, even fly. I like having him with me!

I guess my guest columnist needs no introduction by now, so, here’s Walter! (I told him he couldn’t cuss, either, because I believe he does!)

WOW! I’ve never got to do this before! Dogs don’t usually get to write! But, my Mom did name me “Walter, the Wonder Dog,” so she has a lot of confidence in me! She’s been pretty cool. I get all the treats I want, I don’t have to stay in a crate, she buys me good dog food, let’s me run all over her backyard and takes me places. so I can flirt with all the women! I’ve hidden a lot of my treats all over the living room. You never know when you might need one on the spur of the moment!

When I do get in trouble, it’s usually about those d#*n (oops) cats! They have never been around a dog, let alone one like me! I just want to chase them! I don’t want to hurt them, but, these Brat Pack cats have sharp claws! They’ve got me a few times, but, I’m really too fast for them! Angus and I are okay with each other, and Otis is coming around a little bit. Peanut, the old lady cat, could care less one way or another about me. The main one I am having a hard time winning over is “Lil Rod.” He’s really angry about me being at “his” house. When he is really angry, he sits in the ditch out in front of the house. I think he wants the neighbors to think Mom is treating him badly. That isn’t true, he’s just a little “diva!” We have a lot in common, though. Neither one of us have tails! And, we are both very hard headed! Ah well, maybe in time we will become “the best partners in crime” or “divas in crime!” We are both very dramatic!

I discovered squirrels today in the backyard and chased my first one up a tree! He went up a little ways, then, turned around, shook his tail at me and fussed….or he could have been calling me a really bad name. I’ll have to learn their language, so I can know exactly what I got called. Then, I can bark some “ugly” name back at them! For now, they better be on guard for me! I’m fast and I might just catch one of those rascals!
Every evening I help cook supper. That really just means that I stand beside her and eat what ever falls on the floor. I like to think of it as cleaning up! I don’t care for onions or bell pepper, but I really like green beans. She fixes little bowls with green beans for me now, because she said they were good for me! I even get little bites of steak and chicken sometimes, too! I have a “good thing” going!

I think I’ve been as good for my Mom, just like she has for me. I protect her, and I’m fierce! I can bark really loud! She used to get lonely sometimes, but she has me now, and I get lots of hugs and kisses! She even sings to me sometimes! I really believe I am supposed to be right here with her! I’ll never let her be lonely again.

For me, getting this little dog at a time I really did not need to get him, has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. The last time I made a decision similar to this one, was when Larry was so sick, and one of Paige’s boyfriends wanted to give her a dog, a chocolate lab, for Christmas. I gave in and Duke gave me and Paige, so much after Larry died. It was like he had been sent to us ahead of time. Now at my age, with all my kids grown and no significant other, this little dog has filled a void I didn’t realize I even had! Unconditional love and companionship, we all need it!

Thanks to Walter for writing his side of our story so well. He really is a Wonder Dog! It’s different having a dog and four cats around, but so far we’re “baby stepping” along to “peace and harmony.” No fur has flown, and no blood has been shed, just a lot of growling and posturing! So, with time, I hope, everybody will be friends or at least, just be neutral!

Just One Look, 1963, Doris Troy
“Grumpy Old Men,” 1993, Warner Bros. Pictures