Simply Lou: Hot or What?

article and illustration by Lou Davenport

Sometimes your best ideas come when you least expect them. I have been “fretting” about what I’d write for the month of February for weeks. I “sorta kinda” knew what I wanted to do, but, I just couldn’t seem to fit it all together. When that happens, I usually try to not think about it at all and go listen to some music. BAM! I found a great new song, my column title and all the pieces fell in place!

This time I happened to run across a song I had never heard by a musician that I really like, Mark Knopfler. He wrote and sang this song, “Hot or What” about a professional gambler who is on a winning streak. The video to the song shows photographs of Paul Newman and I knew right then I had my idea!

Since February is the month for love, I decided I’d make a list. My dear friend, Victor Cascio, wrote a special yearly column years ago about Monroe’s best-dressed women. I miss Victor, so this month’s column is a little “tip of my favorite faded red baseball hat” to him. This one’s for you, Victor!

I’m going to tell ya’ll who I think is HOT or the “IT” factor. I did not make a WHAT list because that wouldn’t be very gracious of me. Even though I may be getting older, I still have a great eye for beauty! Yes, men can be considered beautiful, but, we’ll say these following men have that “certain something” that is referred to as the “IT” factor. It’s a bit hard to define but really, some men are just hot and some are not. It isn’t all about the looks either!

My choice for the “hottest” man to ever walk the earth is of course, Paul Newman. What was there not to love about him? Those blue eyes, ooooohhh! My mother loved him. One day I was watching “Long, Hot, Summer,” and his character, “Ben Quick,” is standing there in a simple white man’s undershirt and it hit me why my mother loved him so “IT!” I wish I could have said “MAMA!” She passed that love of him on to me I guess and I still have to watch that old movie about once a year. Someone quoted all “women who have a pulse know Paul.” I would have to agree. He was still “smokin’ hot” when he died in his 80s!

Lee Marvin is another one who still lives on as one hot dude. I love “Paint Your Wagon” when his character, Ben Rumson, sings and Lee Marvin was no singer. But, it worked! When he is leaving “No Name City” slogging down the muddy street he is singing “Wanderin’ Star.” Nobody but him could have sang it. A true “manly man.”

My favorite wrestler, “Stone Cold Steve Austin.” He’s retired now but when he was in WWE, “rasslin” was fun! He’d stomp out, cussin’, flipping off everybody, climb up on all four turn styles and crash beers together. Back then, their creative team had a great time writing shenanigans for him. He has a podcast on YouTube now and he has made cussing a true “art form!”

Bill Murray. It is not his looks by any stretch of the imagination but Bill has “IT” in spades. It’s that free spiritedness of his! I want him to show up at some place I’m at sometimes so I can have my very own “Bill Murray” story and hear him say, “Nobody will believe you!”

Bryan Cranston. I never laid eyes on him until I finally watched, well, binge watched, “Breaking Bad.” His playing Walter White so amazing. And, I have to say he has the “IT” factor because he ran around in those white “tighty whities.” He’s just good all around. Go over to YouTube and see “Bryan Cranston’s Super Sweet 60.” It’s a parody of the show, “My Super Sweet 16.” Take my word for it, you’ll be a better person for seeing him at his comic best.

Jeff Bridges. Well, I couldn’t leave “The Dude” off my list. I’ve liked every thing I ever saw him do. He just abides. He’s Jeff Bridges.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan. The very best villain ever in a TV series! How I love that bad boy, “Neagan” with his baseball bat, “Lucille” in “The Walking Dead.” You just cannot hate him cause he is so good at being bad! And ole Jeffrey Dean is one gorgeous man for sure.

Norman Reedus. I couldn’t let Neagan be on my list without the man who oozes “IT factor.” As Darryl you just want to take care of him. But, he can definately take care of himself.

What’s not to swoon over with a man that carries a cross bow and rides a motorcycle during a zombie apocolypse!? First time I ever saw him was in “Boondock Saints” and he looked the same. And that is a great movie. I watch it every St. Patrick’s Day to celebrate my Irishness!

Most people who know me know I love the TV show, “Vikings.” They have an over abundance of fine men with lots of “IT” factor! There was “Ragnor,” Travis Fimmel, but, he got killed in a snake pit. I miss him on there but there are still more hunky me to admire. But, Travis is just “hotter n’ hell.”

Peter Franzen plays “King Harald Finehair” on Vikings and he is a very talented actor from Finland. He’s also an author, screenwriter and now, he’s a “King!” He speaks four different languages! Shield Wall!

Mike Rowe. I think he should just be named “Sexiest Man in the Whole Wide World Forever.” Hands down. All others need not apply. He is so unaware of how good looking he is. He’s hilarious, he sings opera, he’s not been afraid of “getting dirty” on “Dirty Jobs.” He works so hard to encourage students to learn a trade! And, it’s not Christmas unless you hear him sing “Mr. Grinch” on YouTube.

“Mad Men” had to have been one of the best TV series ever made. The sets, wardrobe, makeup, everything was near perfection. And, they have John Hamm star in it as a “sorry so
and so,” Dan Draper, and we loved him.

Ed Harris. When I first saw “The Right Stuff” about the first astronauts, I saw Ed Harris as John Glenn and I still call him that sometimes. Check out “Kodachrome” on Netflix and see him at his best. And, I highly recommend “Pollock,” a film that he financed and starred in about artist, Jackson Pollock. It just hasn’t ever gotten the respect it should!

Will Ferrell. I can look at him and laugh. He doesn’t really have to do anything. He gets big points because he will get naked in a movie and could care less that his body is not perfect. He isn’t afraid of taking risks!

Leonardo DiCaprio. Leonardo is just good, plain and simple. I can’t watch a lot of his movies because he seems to choose roles that he dies at the end. We’ve all watched him grow up and he is just a cute, mischievious “imp” with mega-talent.

Jack Black. What can’t he not do? And do well. He makes my list for his rendition of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On” in the movie, “High Fidelity.” He named his band, “Barry Jive and the Uptown Five.”

Dennis Quaid. This man just keeps getting better looking with age! Not all of his movies are good, but, if he’s in it, it’s worth a “look-see.”

Ryan Reynolds. Just because he is “Deadpool.” I like my super heroes with an irreverent wit and politically incorrect.

If Ryan Reynolds is on here, Josh Brolin has to be, too.

Remember him in “The Goonies?” He is another one that has just gotten better with age. A real “cutie patootie.”

Graham McTavish. One really “hot Scot.” He played “Dougal McKenzie” in “Outlander.” They killed his character off and I haven’t been very enthusiastic about the show as I once was. He really knew how to wear his kilt!

To round out my list of men with “IT” I cannot leave out a man who is just about Paul Newman status. Sam Elliott. It IS his looks but, there’s a lot more going on there. It has a lot to do with that voice. It’s “like buttah!” He’s showing some age but, really, who cares? He’s Sam and he’s “takin’ her easy.”

There are many other “IT” men but I don’t have the room to list them all. I think the deciding factor for being hot with “IT,” seems to be a sense of humor. In my opinion anyway!

“Cause I’m on a roll, yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m on a roll. I’m runnin’ hot, Baby am I hot or what?”
“Hot or What?” – Mark Knophler