BayouKidz: Empowering Our Children

You Must Do The Things You Think You Cannot Do

by Cindy G. Foust

By the time you get this month’s magazine, the summer will nearly be over and the Bayou Life community will be staring the start of school in the eyes. Gosh, that kind of sounds creepy. Let’s start over. By the time you get this month’s magazine, it will almost be time for our kids to start back to school. Better? I’m not sure if your children are excited, but my girl is. She loves to school supply shop more than anything, you know, so she can make sure her binders match her notebooks. Right? She’s totally my kid by the way. I am somewhat OCD and color code everything, especially my calendar. With different colored highlighters and different colored inks to differentiate areas of my life. SOS SOS SOS I need help, I know. And now my child is my color coding protégé…I think I owe her an apology.

But here we are at the start of a new school year, a crisp, fresh new beginning. It’s a special time for my family, as my daughter is starting her last year of middle school and my son will be a junior in college. I’m trying to savor the moments, but who am I kidding? I get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life like everyone else. I try to take my own advice to “stop and smell the roses,” because I certainly suggest it enough in my columns.Here lately, I am making a more concerted effort, but the fact is, it’s just hard. And let me tell you what’s harder, parenting. I know, I know, I just made a huge jump from school starting to parenting, but if you read my columns often enough, you know that’s how I roll. Or write. Or think. Gosh, this parenting thing is not for the faint of heart. It’s a roller coaster ride for sure, and you better have a good seat belt and crash helmet ready. But my parents didn’t give up and nor will we!

We meaning me and my village, because that’s what it takes to raise our kids, right? And the village is widespread, not just parents, but grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, coaches, sponsors…it’s a circle of people who help pour into our children. But we have to do our part at home, as well. I know for me and Scott, in the hustle and bustle I mentioned earlier, it’s easy to get so busy that we miss the forest for the trees. Meaning? Meaning that we get so caught up in work, and getting everyone shuffled from one activity to the next, working, homework, etc., are we forgetting to stop and REALLY POUR into them?

At the risk of sounding like a parent who doesn’t invest in her kids lives, well, that couldn’t be further from the truth. If you ask one of them, I probably “pour” a little too much. But can you really? Is it really possible to encourage them too much? Pray for them too much? Engage with them too much? I think not. In preparing for this column, which could go a thousand different ways (and usually does), I thought a lot about the time I do, or don’t spend, encouraging my kids. How much of that did I do when they were small and more impressionable?

Empower is a word that seems to have a lot of traction in society right now, so I’ll be careful not to use it too loosely, but how much time have I spent reinforcing to my kids that they can do anything they want, be anything they want? As they are college and middle school aged is it too late to start? The more reading I did, the more I realized that it’s never too late to encourage someone to be the best they can be; to be the kindest person they can be; to be the most honest person they can be; the most compassionate, the friendliest. None of these attributes cost a penny. None of these attributes will let them down in any way…and the best part is there will always be someone watching them live out this type of character. In a world where we are consumed by social media and the fakebook way social media influencers spin their lives (there is no one that perfect without surgery at age 50, and you heard it here), I even find myself feeling self-conscious and unsure. Wait. I’m 52 years old…I know better than that. But do I?

Someone is always taking a vacation I would like to take, working out more than I do, dressing better than me and my handpicked wardrobe, and I have to remind myself that my life is just as full as theirs. We just have different interests, hobbies, etc. But what about our kids? Are they being negatively influenced to think they are less than they are? That they have this point of reference, this standard that they have to live up to? And what can we do about it at home. At the risk of sounding hokey, I got to thinking about ways we could encourage our kids that would be fun and perhaps engage the whole family.

I was actually inspired last weekend when my friend Melanie helped me decorate for our friend’s birthday party and she put up these posters that said “50 things We Love About Paula” and it was really cool to take turns listing all the things we loved about her. Some funny…some serious, but it was neat to see her family and friends encourage her, love her and maybe even make a little fun of her. Best part? Super easy, all you need is a white poster board and a Sharpie.

Next, do your kids take their lunch? Drive? Find you a sticky note pad and spend an hour writing inspiring quotes, scriptures, or just encouragement and putting them in places like their lunchboxes or their vehicles. Hokey? I bet you will find them hanging on their bulletin board or their bathroom mirrors. This would take just a little time and you could do them all at once. Done. And has anyone seen those cool felt boards with little white letters? Put one in a central family location and routinely change the quote. I love when Eleanor Roosevelt said “You must do the things you think you cannot do.” What a profound reminder that our kids can do anything they want, even if they think they can’t. So, what do you think, readers? It doesn’t matter how old your children are for you to stay inserted in their lives. Are they already in college and live away from home? Send them random texts, and assure them you haven’t been drinking! Pour yourselves into your kids, and pour yourself into someone else’s. Encouragement will never fall on deaf ears, and the little time it takes to be that voice, that cheerleader will pay off in dividends in the lives of your loved ones.

Cindy G. Foust is a wife, mom, author and blogger. You can find her blog at the alphabetmom.com for weekly columns about home life, parenting, small business stories and insight with a smidgen of literacy. Give her a like or follow on Facebook and Instagram.