Your Guide to Holiday Etiquette

by ERIN SHARPLIN LOVE  |  erinlove@panachebyerin.com

When I think of Thanksgiving and Christmas, of course my thoughts go first to recognizing the reason for each holiday and the requirements of food, family and gifts that come with both. But in addition, I think too about the things that need improvement from the year before.   We all like to make a good impression, to give meaningful and thoughtful gifts, and to show kindness toward everyone, so I wanted to share a few of my best tips on holiday manners and etiquette.

Etiquette is much more than where to place your fork and how to make a proper introduction.  Although those are still very important things to know, etiquette is, in fact, about how to conduct yourself in a way that shows respect and kindness to those around you: 

RSVP!  I know that we all lead busy lives but responding to an RSVP in a timely manner is a show of respect and consideration.  Doing so helps your hostess know how much food to prepare and how to set up the event.   Knowing the number of guests arriving will be less stressful for the host or hostess, and he or she will be grateful for your thoughtfulness.

THANK YOU NOTES.  If you receive an unexpected gift or kindness, I suggest writing a thank you note to the giver.  It will show your appreciation and is always a good idea. To make doing so a little easier, keep a set of thank you notes in your desk drawer or vehicle and write them immediately.   I pay bills weekly, so I include writing notes in this task.  

NEVER TALK POLITICS.  If you are among a group of people with some you do not know, the topic of politics could introduce an unwanted element of contention.  

APPLY TABLE MANNERS.  Always use appropriate table manners.  You don’t have to be an expert on table settings, but you should be able to place a napkin in your lap and not smack, burp, slurp, or slouch at the table.   However, I do love and appreciate someone who knows her way around a formal table.  It garners immediate respect – and don’t we all want that?

SPEAK TO EVERYONE.  Especially if you are giving the party!  Graciously thank everyone for coming and engage in light conversation with each guest.  It will make them feel special and respected.  

NEVER ARRIVE EARLY.  I know you expect me to say that you should never arrive late; however, it is more important not to arrive early to a party.  Your hostess is most likely adding finishing touches to the event.

NEVER ARRIVE EMPTY HANDED. As one of the golden rules of etiquette, it is very important never to arrive empty handed.  When you RSVP to an event, ask what you can bring.  If no specific item is needed, I suggest bringing a box of baked goods, a lightly scented candle or chocolates.   Or you could bring something with a little more meaning behind it, like a homemade Christmas tree ornament or a bottle of local honey.  

TAKE SPECIAL CARE WITH WRAPPING.  Try to make extra effort wrapping your gifts.  Presentation is just as important as the gift itself. When the recipient notices that you wrapped a gift in a beautiful manner, it will mean so much more!

ALWAYS TELL THE HOST ABOUT DIET RESTRICTIONS.  I know this tip personally because I am a vegetarian. When I RSVP to an event, I always let the hostess know that I am happy to bring a vegetarian dish so that she is not pressured to change her menu just for me.  The same applies with food allergies.  A food allergy is more important than just a diet preference, so if you have any allergies, be sure to mention them.  

Above all, be kind and gracious. There is not enough thoughtfulness in this world, so help make that change.  One kind act can be a good example for many people around you to follow.  Will you be that good example?