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By Nathan Coker
In AskErin
Jan 6th, 2023


January is typically the time when you are supposed to set new goals and make lists of things that you want to start doing, but let’s do things a little differently this year! Instead of making a list of all of the things that you want to start doing, make a list of all the things that you want to stop doing. In order to make a change, you must make a conscious effort to substitute new behavior for old. Nothing changes, if nothing changes. Let’s do this! Below is a list of the things that you might want to stop doing in 2023:

Stop rushing. Do you always feel rushed and stressed? It seems to be a constant for me these days, but it can be stopped. I am and will always be a proponent for being prepared. Preparation saves time and makes small tasks easier and less stressful. Life happens and therefore opportunities to get derailed happen, too– even for an over-preparer. So, beginning now, stop rushing and get back on track to being prepared for whatever may happen. This means staying ahead of the game by creating and maintaining lists and tasks for every aspect of life – home,finances, kids, work, social, self and so on. Make lists based on your life and needs.

Stop saying yes to everything. Unfortunately, there will be some things that you must say no to in order to maintain a healthy and fulfilling life. I am the world’s worst at not wanting to say no, so I know how hard this one is going to be. One of the best quotes I have heard in relation to this tip is, “When you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to something else.” Ask yourself what you are saying no to each time the opportunity arises and you will find it easier to decline. The good news is that you can say yes to more when you successfully master the first step – stop rushing and get prepared.

Stop complaining. Next time you find yourself complaining about something, stop and ask yourself what you can do to solve the issue. For instance, are you complaining about your children not doing something? If possible, don’t complete the task for them. Have them do it immediately when they get home from school. Are you complaining about a coworker? Address the issue immediately. Complaining never makes anything better.

Stop wasting time. There are so many things that require our attention almost every second of the day – email, social media, cooking, cleaning, family, friends , work etc. Devise a plan to manage these things instead of letting them manage you and, therefore, waste your time. Time is a precious commodity and should be used wisely. Figure this out, and you will be able to accomplish anything! “There is never enough time to do all the nothing that you want.” (Bill Watterson)

Stop being so hard on yourself. Perfection is a hard habit to maintain. I know this from experience. I love for everything to be as close to perfect as possible, and when I can’t make it happen, I feel guilty for days afterward. When I make a mistake, I am even harder on myself. Although I think striving to be and do the best you can is a positive attribute, it shouldn’t have negative consequences. Anytime you are critical of yourself, it gets harder and harder to be positive. Know that you are doing the best you can and that no one is perfect. Mistakes happen, and how you learn from them is the way to put a positive spin on a negative.

Stop waiting on the “right” time. The timing is never going to be right. Do it now! Period.

Stop comparing yourself to others. You are uniquely you, and no one else can be you or anything like you. Likewise, you will never be like other people, so stop comparing yourself to them. Instead, continue to strive to be the best you that you can be.

Stop worrying. Worrying about what might happen is making it more likely for that thing to become reality. Have you have heard of manifesting? Worrying is manifesting something that you don’t want to happen! Stop worrying and start making things happen.

Which, if any, of these things speak to you the most? What will be on your Stop doing list for 2023? Please share! erinlove@panachebyerin.com