The Real Love

article and illustration by Lou Davenport

I’ve been to a lot of weddings in my day, and I’ve always loved a good wedding.  For that brief few hours, everyone is so happy, and all things seem possible.

The first wedding I remember was my cousin, Beverlee “Tuttie” Albritton’s wedding when she married Doug Comeaux.  She asked me to be her flower girl.  My Aunt Cye made her wedding dress and veil, and she also made my dress as well.  I still remember my dress.  It was made out of white “dotted Swiss” fabric.  I know I gave my mama a hard time getting me all cleaned up, and getting my hair just “so.”  As I came down the aisle, throwing my flowers like I had been shown to do, I stopped dead in my tracks, and checked out this other little girl that I’d never seen before.  I just stared her up one side and down the other.  I know my mama was holding her breathe, hoping that I didn’t say anything to that little girl, and that I’d just keep on walking to get to my designated spot! 

It seemed like from then on, there was always a wedding to go to, and I think I made them all.  Me and my cousins’ favorite thing to do was decorate the “get away car,” although we never did anything bad; never tied any cans to the bumpers, or put a “Just Married” sign on any of the windows.  We mainly liked to write all over the cars with white shoe polish!

Years later, my cousins started to get married, and that’s when we really started to enjoy weddings, especially the rehearsal dinners.  After Loretta’s rehearsal, we ended up out in a cotton field drinking beer.  How we got back to where we were staying I can’t remember, but we sat out on the front steps for hours, thinking the front door was locked.  It wasn’t, but it sure did take us a nice long while to figure that out!

When my cousin, Judi, got married, I met my first husband.  His name was Larry, and he was from Greenville, Mississippi, where Judi lived at the time.  I remember seeing him from across the dance floor at the Ramada Inn, and asking Judi, “Who is that?”  She told me who he was, but he was there with a girl.  So, even though I was disappointed, I continued to “party on.”  At some point in the evening, Judi told me that the girl he was there with was his sister!  We were introduced, and he got my phone number.  I never dreamed he’d call, but he did.  And the rest was history.

I married that man a few years later, in a small ceremony with one of my best friends as my maid of honor, and one of Larry’s as his best man. My mom and dad were there, as well as his mom and sister.  The weather was fine, until we left.  There were several tornado warnings announced, and thunderstorms rolled in…along with some hail!  That must have been a good omen for us, since we stayed married for nearly 23 years.  We would still be married today, had it not been for cancer walking in one day, and changing our lives forever.  

Before Larry passed away, our daughter, Carolyn, got married to Ty.  Larry was able to walk her down the aisle, and give the bride away.  A dear family friend, who was an Episcopal priest, performed the ceremony.  They are still happily married to this day, for 25 years, in fact!

I didn’t have much money to spend on her wedding.  So, I learned how to make and decorate the cakes.  I learned how to arrange and assemble flowers for the bouquets and boutonniere, and how to arrange centerpieces to decorate the church and the reception hall.  For the rehearsal dinner, Larry fired up his grill, and all their friends piled in, and had a damn good party out on our deck.  Even though everybody was “moving slow” that next day, the ceremony went off without a hitch! When the reception was over, those kids came back to the house and stayed longer!  I figured we got those two, “really married!”

After Larry died, my best friend, Janine, and her husband leased Ceres Plantation, a little ways outside of Vicksburg, and they had a nursery.  We came up with the idea of renting the place out from time to time, because it was the perfect setting for a wedding venue.  Before we knew it, we were staging weddings!  That’s when I learned a whole more about floral design, and even thought for a while that I’d make that my profession. But, I learned rather quickly that it involves a lot more work than you’d think, and don’t even get me started on the amount of pressure it brings! Aside from that, the weddings that took place out there were SO beautiful, and I truly enjoyed every minute of helping them come about.

I started doing floral designs as wedding gifts for some of my family members.  One of the most beautiful weddings I ever did was my cousin Stacey’s, when she married John Majure.  She has the best taste, and knew exactly what she wanted.  That, of course, made things a lot easier for me, but there’s still pressure to get them done, get them arranged and placed at the venue, AND leave yourself time to get ready to go to the wedding.  

The latest wedding I went to was in Granbury, Texas on May 1st.  My cousin, Travis, married the love of his life, Laura, last weekend.  It was a treat in itself, since my daughter, Paige, and I got to have our first road trip since last year, and it was the first time I have got to see and visit with my son, Adam, in almost a year! (Thanks, Covid!)

Everybody stayed at the same hotel, so there was a lot of catching up going on with everybody.  We were all loud, and happy to see each other. There was even time to check out the little town of Granbury, and I’m already planning to go back.

Travis and Laura’s wedding was held at a gorgeous venue, La Bella Luna, right outside of Granbury.  I wonder just how many weddings have been held there, because they have weddings down to a fine art!  They got married outside, and we were all praying it wouldn’t rain.  Luckily, the rain held off during the ceremony, and only made an appearance during the reception.  When Laura walked down the aisle in an incredibly beautiful white dress, she wore a pair of blue heels. You know, something borrowed, something blue? I loved that!

Travis has a little boy, Lucas, who is five years old, and Lucas was his best man! When they explained to Lucas that as best man, he would have to give a toast to the bride and groom. He came out with the best toast I’ve ever heard…he simply said, “Strawberry!”  Travis and Laura made sure Lucas was a big part of the day, and he enjoyed every minute of it.  The whole wedding was very “family oriented” and I really liked that!  There were even “light sabers” for all the kids and there were everywhere!  I think the kids had more fun than the adults!

We were assigned tables, and my cousin, Gene, and his wife, Lana, were seated with us. It has been at least 15 years since I’ve last seen Gene.  Even though we stay in touch on Facebook, it’s just not the same as “in person.”

Travis decided against getting a groom’s cake, so he had a “beignet truck,” and, oh, powered sugar was everywhere!  The wedding cake was so good, I wanted to get a “to go box,” and fill it up for later!

When it was time for Travis and Laura to leave, we were all given sparklers, which I love! Even though the rain was pouring down by then, we gathered around, and held up our sparklers for their grand exit. I admit I wiped a little tear.

I’m certainly no expert on marital advice but, I’ve learned a few things about it.  Loving somebody is one thing, but that person needs to be your friend, first.  And, if they won’t let you be yourself, and you can’t let them be themselves, just run!  Like any relationship, marriage is work, and not always easy, but if you both want the same things in life, things tend to go a whole lot smoother.  Be willing to say you are sorry first, and whatever you do, always encourage each other. Cheer them on! Don’t be selfish. Spend time with them, be honest with them (and yourself), and compliment them. That’s what real love is to me. 

Maybe Bob Seger sings it better than I can say it…

“I think I’ve found the real love…

Genuine and true…

I think its really come my way, babe.

I think its really you.”