The Challenges of Marriage

article by Paul Lipe

I REMEMBER something of the anxiety that plagued me in the fall of 1962 as the day of my marriage rapidly approached.  I was scared almost out of my senses as I contemplated what lay ahead for me. I was engaged to a young lady who was highly qualified to be the wife of a pastor.  My concern was the fear that my qualifications for the role of any kind of a husband were hard to find!  I was challenged already with the task of being a pastor; now I was to be a husband, too.

This month, marriage is back on my radar. Thank the Lord, it is not a wedding for me, such a thing is nowhere near my radar! The wedding in mind is the up-coming marriage of one of my grand-daughters. The anxiety level is nowhere near that of our wedding, but is more of a concern that there are so many factors that militate against the successful establishment of a Biblical home in today’s climate.  Both the bride and her intended are committed Christians, but the task ahead for them offers some strong opposition.  Below are a few of the things I hope to say to them as preparation for their exciting journey ahead.

First, there will be obstacles in the path that could work in opposition to their desire to establish a Christian home. The first foe will be provided by the bride and groom, themselves.  You see, each one of us is a sinner, even my adorable granddaughter!  And it is the nature of sin to be selfish. We want things to go our way, and when the groom pushes for one way and the bride contends for another, that is not good. A second opponent to the formation  of a Christian home is the current trend in our society.  We are not living in a time when being a follower of Christ affords one much acceptance.  The homes usually depicted in movies or on TV are not the kind that Christians strive for. The strongest foe facing newly weds comes from the devil himself. Obviously, he does not want homes that welcome Jesus and do their best to please Him.

Here we have some strong foes that stand in the way of my granddaughter and her fiancée establishing the kind of marriage that would please their Lord and that would be fulfilling to their Christian desires.

Does this mean that there is, then, no hope that we can find to help in this attempt to please  God in our families?  By no means! Just as there are obstacles to building a Christian home, there are also graces that are our allies.  It is true that each of us has a sinful nature, it is also true that every person who trusts Jesus for salvation has been regenerated and is a new creation with the potential of denying self and of living for Christ – this new nature dominates the old, giving victory to the believer as he seeks to “walk” in harmony with the Savior.

Countering the negative impact of our culture, is the powerful encouragement of our church families.  Within those families are couples who have been successful in implementing the Lord’s pattern for a Biblical home. These can provide encouragement and support to the newly weds who are just beginning their lives together. Their positive examples can counter the efforts of those who battle against a Christian home.

Finally, the devil himself, though much stronger than any of us who are humans, is dominated by the Holy Spirit who dwells in each Christian. “Greater is He Who is in you than he who is in the world.”  With His help, the help of the Church family, and a disciplined exercise of the spiritual gifts God has given each of us, our marriages can be full of hope for success and joy. I pray this for my granddaughter and her intended!

Incidentally, my fears way back in 1962 were soon overcome as God made our marriage a 59-year long adventure of joy and ministry to the glory of Him who gave us one another. God is good!