The Anchors in Our Life

Honoring Those Who Hold Us Together

article by Cindy G. Foust

Well, readers, here we all are at mid-year and if you are like me, probably wondering where in the cat hair the year is going? I mean, seriously, we just put Santa Claus and the nutcrackers in the attic and BAM, we are already seeing the fall and Christmas decorations come out of the woodwork in the retail markets. Trust me, readers, it will be here before you know it. But in the meantime, why don’t we take a little breath and just relish in the sights and the sounds of early summer. I love this time of year, well except for the heat, of course, because I love all the things that summer brings from the Farmer’s Market, right? Next weekend is the opening of our West Monroe Farmer’s Market and I’m here for it. Over 60 vendors will be there with their wonderful produce and baked goods and homemade everything. It’s my idea of heaven, actually. I love these lazy days by my parent’s pool, watermelon, homemade ice cream…the list goes on and on. I don’t really “lay out” anymore, time is marching on and it’s marching right across my face (that’s a joke but kind of the truth), but I love being out there under the umbrella listening to my favorite Pandora station, Hall & Oates (make this one of your stations, you will thank me later). I’m kind of struggling this summer, though readers, when I think about where my family was this time last year, specifically my daddy. We can always expect “Big Daddy” to come out by the pool several times during the “lay out” day and join in on whatever tune was blaring out over the speaker. And let me just say, if it was Elvis, well, we could expect “the hound dog” to come out through Big Daddy…like some kind of out of body experience. He never stays long out in the heat long, just long enough to make us realize just how lucky we are to have this man in our lives, and better than that, this man for a father. I try to stay away from the “tribute” type columns, readers, or else I would be writing every month to the different people in my life who keep me going. It’s no secret the last few years have been some of the more difficult in my life, but as I come out of that sort of fog and my mental and emotional clarity continues to sharpen, I realize that I have been richly blessed by the support group that I have had. Leading that charge for me is the one who answers to many things…Tommy, John T., Tall T, Big Daddy, and for me…just daddy. No one has prayed louder or harder for his kids than my daddy…which, quite understandably, serves as the inspiration for how many other people pray. Someone ask me recently how my dad was doing, they hadn’t seen him in years. Their first comment after I told them was “Mr. Tommy has always been an anchor in his church, his community.” I have to tell you readers, I felt a rush of emotions hearing this. You see, that anchor, that one person that I knew I could count on when the going got tough, has been in a bit of a struggle these past few months. Well, almost a year, really, and frankly, it’s been very hard to watch.

We all have those same people in our lives, right, readers? The ones who are the “anchor” who holds for us? I certainly have and still do, and ranking right up there at the top is my father. Growing up, my dad was the consummate “provider” for our family. My two sisters, my brother and I never wanted for anything and Daddy worked very hard, long days, oftentimes away from home, to make sure we never did. Daddy ran our home with unsaid and unwritten expectations for how he expected his children to act…with kindness, with integrity…with manners (impeccable)…with dignity…and with tolerance and acceptance of others. He also “preached” on forgiveness quite a bit, even when the rest of us wanted to hold a grudge or be upset with someone over something trivial or inconsequential, Daddy always stood the ground for giving grace. His thought: “I’ve been given grace many times by my parents, my wife, my children and my Heavenly Father. The least I can do is extend that same sentiment.” 

As the years began to morph into my early adulthood, my family experienced the inexplicable with the loss of my sister in a tragic car accident. Never before had I seen my dad “anchor” his family the way he did after we lost Angel. Those next few years were some of the darkest of our lives but Daddy never wavered in his faith and the rock solid fortitude he provided his family. It would be years later before he shared with me the years he spent in a black abyss of pain and grief that he kept from his family. 

Interesting. Dare we compare him to an anchor…never seen but strongly felt? 

What people do see when they meet Big Daddy is a man tall in stature (at the high rise height of 6’6 hence the name, Tall T), but more important is what they see after they spend 5 minutes with him, and that’s a man completely devoted to his family; a man full of pride at their accomplishments; and a man who would lay down his life for those he loves. And loves hard he does.  

Little did I know that years after we gave up Angel that we would again be facing another devastating blow with the loss of my own child. During this time, my daddy stood in the gap for Scott and me. He prayed over us, he counseled us, he tolerated me (and that was difficult many times), and he loved us through it. 

Like an anchor. 

Well, today, readers, I find the twisted roles of life reversed as our family has been called on to help nurse Big Daddy back to good health. All those years he firmly held our family in the palm of his capable and strong hands, has found us now needing to hold him in ours.  

And I’m here for it. 

Readers, some of you might be in the same “predicament” that my family now finds ourselves, but can there be a higher calling, a greater privilege than caring for those who have always cared for us? Here we are at the month where we have a day where we celebrate our fathers, but don’t we need more than one day? Friends, whether you are fortunate enough to have your father still with you, or if death has separated you from him, take a few minutes with your own children to celebrate your own “anchor.” I understand that person may look different for some families; it might be a grandfather, an uncle, a brother, a friend, but whomever it was that stood in the gap for you, or still does, celebrate the role, the influence they have had in your life, not just on Father’s Day, but all year long. Their influence, whether close or distantly felt, is one of our greatest treasures. 

Cindy G. Foust is a wife, mom, author and blogger. You can find her blog at the alphabetmom.com for weekly columns about home life, parenting, small business stories and insight with a smidgen of literacy. Give her a like or follow on Facebook and Instagram.