The Perfect Coiffure

article by Jordan Haddad

I recently came across a post from a writer for Man Repeller that dissects the ponytail hairstyle and what it says about the type of person on which it sits. The article was not only hysterical, but also intriguing. I suddenly began to think of all of the people I know with very distinct hairstyles and what that might suggest about them. Never had I given so much thought to the hairstyles of others, let alone my own.

My hair is fine, which makes it relatively thin overall, but it’s deceiving because it doesn’t look thin. I have told anyone who questions my thin hair to take a handful. It’s like the pigtail of a young child. There’s hair intact, but again, it’s fine! Due to this genetic disposition, I am very weird about haircuts. I probably have mine cut once a year. I consider it “long” even if it’s a single strand that is providing the “length.” Pretty sure I am the pet peeve of any hairstylist. However, when I do have it cut, she takes about 4-5 inches. So after considering all of this I thought to myself, “Does my hairstyle say that I am boring?” I wouldn’t even consider it a style. It’s definitely not “The Rachel,” there are no long layers or bangs (been there, done that…never again), and my hair color is natural. Aside from some experimental bangs and highlights, I’ve pretty much had the same cut since 2002. I have learned to be experimental in execution by straightening, curling with a wand or embracing the freedom of the au naturale 80s wave, amongst other attempts.

Long, luxurious and totally envious are the words that come to mind when I think of Sue Sartor’s hairstyle. Sue’s long, thick mane with an occasional strand of gray is gorgeous and strong. It’s long and loose and says, “I am an artist and let loose, but I am also elegant.” I would literally take someone’s life for a thick head of hair. Everyone with thick hair reading this right now is thinking that I am crazy, because thick hair is hot and takes FOREVER to blow dry, but from where I’m sitting it looks pretty swell.

Lucy Shackelford is another woman whose hairstyle I admire. Now, she doesn’t mix it up much, except for that one time she wore it curly to a party at Bayou DeSiard Country Club. It’s blonde, slightly flips out, and short and blunt, much like Lucy herself. With every move of her head, it swings around just above the shoulder, but in a uniform manner, of course. Similar to Anna Wintour, it is the signature look of this exceptional Carlisle captain.

As much as a consistent hairstyle is appreciated, I admire those who aren’t afraid of change. Lindsay Jones sees no difference between her hair and the blank canvases upon which she paints. Each canvas is a clean slate for something great, as is her hair. It’s been long, short, layered, symmetrical, asymmetrical, brown, black, pink, purple, yellow blonde, platinum blonde…she gives Lady Gaga a run for her money! How it hasn’t all fallen out is the eighth wonder of the world. It’s amazing! Funny enough, all of these different hairstyles actually look good on Lindsay. With cheekbones higher than the Eiffel Tower and big, beautiful eyes, courtesy of her mother, each unique, odd, crazy, interesting hairstyle perfectly frames her face and looks fantastic!

Men should pay as much attention to their hair as women, and some do. Similar to my situation, some men don’t have much hair, and there’s not much that can be done about it, unless you want to try Rogaine. There aren’t as many style options for men to disguise the thinning hair, but I respect the men who just embrace it! I am partial to a thick head of hair, which is probably because mine is not! John Thomas has an amazing head of semi-curly hair that is a rich, brown color. Somehow he is able to master the perfectly disheveled hairstyle, and I’m sure Analeise Reeves had some input on how to achieve it.

I may be biased, but I think most would agree that my dad, Joey Haddad, has a lovely, dark coif for a 60 year old man, and he knows it. Lately I’ve noticed a little more salt in that pepper, which he is quick to say it was caused by me. For a while, he jokingly thought of himself as a version of “McDreamy,” who is known for his hair on Grey’s Anatomy. My dad is not vain, but the head full of hair paired with the Lebanese genes seems to work in his favor.

These are my simple thoughts on a few hairstyles and types. You’re allowed to try something new every now and then. Hair will always grow back. However, refrain from screwing up your eyebrows, they frame the face, but that is a whole separate issue!