Ten Things All Young Ladies Should Know

by ERIN SHARPLIN LOVE  |  erinlove@panachebyerin.com

In the past, young ladies took classes in proper manners and etiquette, but in recent years, more emphasis has been placed on furthering education and becoming financially independent.  These are very important goals, but even the most educated and financially independent woman needs to know how to navigate a table setting, write a thank-you note, and express sympathy for instance. 

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” – Emily Post

1. A lady says “please” and “thank you” often.  I am sure you expected to see this one on my list, but I couldn’t leave it out no matter how many times you’ve heard it.  These words spoken from the heart show the utmost respect for others.  Otherwise, a request can feel harsh and commanding– neither of which will make someone feel comfortable around you.  

2. A lady gives compliments as often as possible.  Compliments are the gifts we can give others that don’t cost a cent.  Think about the last time you were paid a compliment and how good it made you feel.  It probably made you feel instantly at ease with the person who paid you the compliment. It is important, however, that the compliment be sincere. We can always find something to appreciate about others.  

3. A lady makes eye contact with the person with whom she is engaging .  She also smiles often during the interaction.  This makes everyone feel included and accepted.  

4. A lady knows and uses table manners.  I am not talking about just which fork to use.  There are many more important manners to master first.  They include the following:

– Unless instructed otherwise, do not eat before everyone at the table has been served. 

– Never place something back on a platter if you decide you do not want it.  Once it is on your plate, it is yours.

– Never reach across someone to get something on the table.  Ask that an item be passed to you.  

– A lady places the napkin in her lap immediately upon sitting.

– A simple “no thank you” suffices when a dish you do not like or want is offered.  

– Never burp or blow your nose at a table.  Excuse yourself to the bathroom for such occurrences.  

– If you feel a sneeze coming, turn your head and place your nose and mouth in the crook of your arm or in your napkin.  Then promptly excuse yourself to clean up if needed.

5. A lady knows how to write a proper thank-you note.  A thank-you note should be written on stationery and in good penmanship.

6. A lady expresses sympathy for a friend or relative with grace.  For instance, when a friend loses an important ball game, a simple “I’m sorry” is considerate.  When it comes to a death or illness, however, a hug and a few thoughtful words can go a long way.

7. A lady knows cell phone etiquette. There are times and places for cell phones, and those do not include the dinner table and during conversations with other people.  Also, a lady never talks on speaker phone in public places.

8. A lady uses social media appropriately.  She always thinks before she posts and never engages in gossiping about someone.

9. A lady loses well. She always congratulates the winner and never blames her teammates or another person who is involved in the game.  

10. A lady holds her head high and maintains good posture while sitting, standing, and walking.  In doing so she will exude confidence and elegance. 

It’s never too early or too late to learn grace and good manners.