Taking Time to Celebrate: Savoring Time with Family

article by Cindy G. Foust

Hello dear friends in our BayouLife family, as together we invite the warmer months of spring into our community. Alas, however, the bitter cold days are still amongst us, especially today as I sit in my big comfy chair and write my column. Donkey watching, of course. I wonder if she’s cold? Scott says no, that she has donkey hair and it keeps her warm. I think he’s just saying that so I don’t beg to bring her in. One day I’ll have to get Cass to publish her picture so everyone will understand and believe that my BFF is a four-legged donkey. Who loves honey buns, by the way. I’m not kidding, readers, when I tell you I’ve spent many hours sitting at that fence talking to this lovely animal. She is truly lovely, and I’m not kidding about that either. Okay, so maybe her tummy is a little pudgy and she probably needs an Oral-B toothbrush and a good scrub. Oh, and her “shoes” could use a new look. Any blacksmith’s out there want a side hustle for one day? But other than that, she is perfection to me. Mainly because she just sits there while I talk and tell her my problems. During my chemotherapy treatment, she was an exceptional listener, only really responding when I was slow to pass a carrot, or a pancake, through the fence. She can be impatient…she can. As I was watching her graze today, I got to thinking about the rather unconventional friendship between me and Glindsey. If anybody out there is trying to catch up thinking I have surely gone off the feature column ledge, we thought my donkey was a “he” and not the “she” that she is for nearly two years. That’s right, for two years my donkey carried the male moniker, Glen, named after my cousin. So, we had to change her name and I picked Glindsey because it sounds like a glamorous and sophisticated name for a donkey. And I didn’t want her confused since we had called her Glen for two years. Through the years she has stood at that fence and “bayed” to me on pretty much a daily basis. To the point that my neighbors will text me to “go feed her” if it’s before 6:00 a.m. Did I mention she could be impatient? But like a true friend, she is steadfast in her love for me, you know, like a good friend can be. I have had the subject of friendship on my mind of late, not just with regards to my pets but to my real friendships, as well. They say true friends are hard to come by, but I have been blessed in the two-legged department for years with some really good friends. I had someone tell me once that the best friends we will ever have are the ones we make in high school. Hummmmm….I think at my age now, I would dispute that, because through the years of my life, some friends have come and gone, for a variety of reasons such as changing jobs or moving away, but I also have really good friends that I met just 3 years ago. Not life-long, right? But life-changing, for sure. On the other hand, I have friendships that date back to grade school. Or when I moved beside them on Bonnabel Place…I would call them some of my life-support friends. In thinking about how I wanted to connect the proverbial dots in this month’s column, you know, starting with a donkey and ending with an episode from Friends, I got to thinking about how I have lived through the ebbs and flows of friendship in my own life, but I have also watched the ebb and flow through the eyes of my children. It’s hard to parent our children through friendship bumps and bruises, agree? When I was growing up, in the splendid absence of cell phones and social media, I didn’t have to worry about anything other than if my grandparents were going to be on our “party line” at night which would prevent me from calling one of my friends. Did I trigger anyone else’s memory lane on that one? Yes, quite simply, those were the good old days…long gone, and we’ve been left with watching our kids suffer at times through things they see and hear with their phones. Or computers. Or any means they have that transports them outside the safe confines of our homes. But here we all are, parenting through the trials and tribulations of friendships during the age windows that we have to wonder if they are emotionally ready to navigate through. Does that make sense? I know, I know, I am not a child therapist or even a counselor of any sorts, but I am a parent and I can safely say that helping my children move through the different issues they’ve had to navigate all during the time their own bodies are changing at break neck speeds, hasn’t always been easy. At other times, it’s been fun to watch as they learn to support their friends, lean on their friends, and just enjoy being with their friends. I wish there was a simple formula that I could share, or some magic wave of a wand that would create friendships for your children that are healthy and happy and without troubles. But you see, the real truth is…that’s where they learn. They learn how to take both the heartache or the beauty or the disappointment or those bruises and grow. That growth is part of growing up, it’s part of deciding what kind of friend you want to be and what kind of friend you want to have. It’s the growth that teaches them resilience but at the same time grace and forgiveness. In truth, it’s the growth we all need, no matter our ages, in any relationship that we have. Listen to me parents, my children aren’t perfect, they have made friendship mistakes and they have been on the receiving end of the not so easy situations, but you know what? They have pushed through all of it. Because I hope if we have taught them anything, it’s that through imperfection and flaws, oftentimes something really beautiful will bloom. In this season where my baby girl is finishing up high school, I pray she will take these friendships she has cultivated with her into college and her adult life. I pray that your children, wherever they are in their “friendship” journey, will cultivate similar friendships, even if there are bumps in the road. For there always will be, but the beauty of it is that those bumps teach us lessons, too. And if we are watching close enough as parents, it can also teach us lessons in our friendship journeys; lessons that will likely influence the kind of friend we want to be.

Cindy G. Foust is a wife, mom, author and blogger. You can find her blog at the alphabetmom.com for weekly columns about home life, parenting, small business stories and insight with a smidgen of literacy. Give her a like or follow on Facebook and Instagram.