Steel Magnolias

article and illustration by LOU DAVENPORT

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I was going to write this month’s column on something else, but, as we have all heard, “a lady can change her mind.”  So, I did!

I recently had two different people wanting me to audition for the part of “Ouiser Boudreaux” for the play, “Steel Magnolias,” at the South West Arkansas Art Center. Of course, I was flattered and also had to laugh that they thought I’d make a “perfect Ouiser.”  I have to admit it wouldn’t be too far of a “stretch” for me. But, not only is this play too far away from home for me, “I haven’t been in a bad mood for 40 years” either, as “Ouiser” says in the movie.  

In the dictionary, a “steel magnolia” is a plural noun, (chiefly southern) that exemplifies both traditional feminine as well as on an uncommon fortitude.  I’d say that is very true and I have been lucky enough to know some real “steel magnolias” when I was growing up and still do today.  I’d define a “steel magnolia” as someone who has lived enough life to have loved every minute, including the ups and downs, and has come through it all  “tough as steel” and keeps on going.

The movie first came out in 1989 and was written as a play and screenplay by Robert Harling.  It is based on the true story of how he lost his sister to complications from diabetes during pregnancy when she was expecting her first child.  And, the movie still holds up after 30 years.  

The movie and play centers around the “life affirming power that love and friendship can have over the blessings of life as well as the tragedies.  

I come from a long line of “steel magnolias!”  I had 7 aunts on my daddy’s side, several on my mama’s side, two remarkable grandmothers and even though I didn’t get to have my mama but 21 years, they taught me and my cousins so much about life, not just in words, but by their actions.

All of them are gone now except my Aunt Faye and since the pandemic, I haven’t gotten to spend time with her.  But, I’ve gotten my shot, so I feel like I can go see her and get back to having great conversations with her!  

Most of my aunts didn’t grow up with much.  They were dirt poor and had to work from the time they were kids.  My grandfather was a sharecropper and died in the field when they were all young.  They lived through the Depression, the flood of 1927 and World War II. My other aunts that married into my family seemed to fit in seamlessly. 

I’ve never seen a closer group of sisters and sister-in-laws than them.  Each one of them are different but they also had one thing in common…..”that uncommon fortitude.”  And just like in the movie, they had “their lines” that we all still say! In fact, all 7 of them would have made great characters in a movie of their own.

My Aunt Cye was probably the closest thing to a “Ouiser” we had.  She was a seamstress and made wedding dresses, uniforms and the most beautiful quilts.  Now, she didn’t use those quilts, she kept them in a closet in black garbage bags.  And, what she would have really liked to have done was fish.  She loved to go fishing, but, she wouldn’t eat fish.  Go figure?

Aunt Mayvonne had five girls.  Three of them are the closest things to sisters I have.  But, when we wanted to go out and ride around and chase boys, she would tell us, “You needn’t think…..you are going to Mary Lou’s and go wilding off.”  Again, go figure?  As Claree said the movie, “She was just too colorful for words!”

Aunt Lucy was our family’s early version of “Martha Stewart.”  I always thought her house was so fancy because she had a crystal candy bowl on her coffee table!  She also had “wheat bread” which we sure didn’t have at our house so I always wanted a piece to take home.  She’d indulge me, of course, and I’d nibble on it all the way back to Bastrop.  She was so southern, her line was “ooooooooohhhhhh Mary Lou!”  or “oooooooohhhhhh Lisa Gail.”  You have to draw that “ooh” out for about 3 minutes to get it right, but, whenever we are really giving a compliment we “do the Aunt Lucy!”

My Aunt Red lived down on a farm in Liddieville and let us do just about anything we cousins wanted to do.  She tried to teach us how to milk her cow, but, that wasn’t much fun to us, but, we did love to gather the eggs!  She’d say, “Don’t you be getting’ up on that dope!”  Her grandkids still laugh about that one!

Aunt Ruby and Aunt Mae were sisters who married brothers, so I have a set of cousins who are “double first cousins!”  That’s Peggy and Margaret, two other cousins that are as close to sisters as I’m ever going to have.  Aunt Ruby was so soft spoken and a little quiet, but, she’d still tell me, “Ohh, Lou!”  and quietly giggle.  When she was in the nursing home, I’d go sit with her.  One day she told me to pull my chair up closer so she could just look at me.  I still treasure the time I got to spend with her.  

Aunt Mae knew how to have fun with all us kids!  She was like a “big kid,” herself!   I loved to spend the night at her house because every morning she made fresh biscuits and served them with “Johnny Fair” syrup.  And oh, how she could laugh! I’d make sure I always told her something silly or stupid just to hear that laugh of hers. She’d always tell me, “Now, Lou!” She knew I was a handful, but, she didn’t care, she just loved me anyway.                                                          

One of the most wonderful things that my Aunt Mae did was raise five of the best kids there are. My uncle died when they were young.  But, she carried on! When she passed away, I was doing okay until they played Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.”  I lost it.

My Aunt Faye was the youngest of my aunts.  She married my Uncle Punkin when he came back from being in the Army in Japan.  She was so tiny and so sweet.  She always made the best cakes when we’d go to their house.  She lives with my cousin, Lisa, now and gets to enjoy all her great grandchildren.  The last time I saw her we arguing that she didn’t look her age!  She said, “Oh, Lou, you don’t know what you’re talking about!” 

Bless my mama’s heart, she might have been the strongest “steel magnolia” I have ever known. She had to deal with not only my daddy and grandmother, but me!  I was a handful and I still say she didn’t have any more kids because I was enough!  She never complained and I never saw her get angry.  But, she did love a “slighty dirty” joke and would tell us kids one and then say, “Now, don’t tell anybody who told you that!”  And, you know exactly what we did!  My one regret in life is that she never got to see or know my kids.  They would have adored her just like I did.  I’ve made sure they know all about her but, it’s not the same.

I lost my mama when I was expecting my first child.  I knew that if I had a girl what her name was going to be, Carolyn.  All Carolyn wanted to do when she was little was “play school” and now, she’s a teacher!  Just like my Mama!  I went a different direction and chose to be an artist and my son is one of the most gifted artists I’ve ever seen and my Mama painted!  When I had my youngest daughter, Paige, there was this beautiful baby girl with big brown eyes just like my mama’s.  Every time I look at her, I see my mama.  I think she’d be very proud of all three of them.  I know I am!

Now that my cousins and I have gotten older, we get together and tell stories about our aunts.  And, there’s a lot of them to tell!  Most of them are hilarious and I’m sure I’ll share more of them in columns to come.   We all agree we are the women we are today thanks to them. We might stumble, just like they did at times, but we get up, just like them, put on our “big girl panties” and carry on.  

We’ve gone through our childhoods, broken hearts, college, marriages, having babies, deaths, divorces, loving our kids unconditionally, but, the best thing is, we are just like that cast in “Steel Magnolias.”  We always stick together and laugh our way through.  There’s not another family like mine! I know without a doubt, I am so blessed and I cannot imagine what my life would be like without any of them.

Happy Mother’s Day y’all!  And a toast to all the other “Steel Magnolias” out there! 

“Smile, it increases your face value!”