Simply Lou: Short Stories

This month, Lou tells a few short stories of the days past. Each story has a lesson of their own. The main point, though, is to always laugh.

article and illustrations by LOU DAVENPORT

Most authors write short stories, and a lot of them compile those stories into collections. I especially love Stephen King’s short stories, so, I thought I’d write some “short columns” this month, and do something different for the New Year. Our theme for this issue is health and beauty, and I figured I could share some of the things I have learned and experiences I’ve had surrounding those topics, in true Lou fashion.

I’ve written two columns recently about my health, and I am happy to say that I am definitely “on the mend” now. My best advice, although cliche’ but true, is to take care of yourself! I certainly do now, and I treat myself better as well. That’s a big key. Never ever think you are not worth the effort; you’re worth all the effort! Besides, God made but only one of you, so, be your own best friend and treat yourself like you would want the people you love the most to be treated.

Not everybody you meet is going to like you. So what? There are plenty of people who will. Take the time to invest in finding out exactly who you are, quirks and all. Like Bob Dylan said, “All I can do is be me… Whoever that is.” I like to think that maybe I’m “not for everyone,” and that’s a-okay with me. Just be your best you, and let them be… them.

Have you ever had the thought that everybody you meet is afraid of something, loves something, or has lost something? I read that the other day, and it just stuck with me. Another one of those life truths. You never know what someone may be going through on any given day. Be kind. Have some empathy. Ask friends, family, and even strangers about their stories. Listen to them, and learn from them. It’s a very healthy thing to know and do.

Beauty. Hmmm…. At my age, I have learned “less is more.” I have a horror that I’ll put on some blush, and it will look like clown circles. Not too long ago, I had to run a few errands, and just slapped on some foundation, and took off. I stopped by my daughter, Paige’s house once I was done running about. She saw me and shrieked, “WHAT do you have on your face?” Oh, it was awful. I was ORANGE! And the worst part was I had been all over the place just having the best time doin’ my thing. I had unknowingly grabbed a foundation that I had bought, not liked, and tossed over into one of my “maybe I’ll use it again” bags. All of us ladies have at least one of those kinds of bags. So, I threw that shade away, which I should have done in the first place, so I won’t make that mistake again.

Smiles are what make people pretty or attractive to me. It doesn’t take any more time to smile than to frown. You actually use more facial muscles to frown, too. Give somebody a big smile today. They’ll be better for it and so will you! Smiles are contagious. I bet if you smiled at a stranger, they’d more than likely smile back. Laughter is even better. There have been studies that prove laughter is the best medicine. It has healing properties, and it’s also one of my favorite things to do. Richard Pryor, as his character, “Mudbone,” said it well… “Rub a little sunshine on your face!”

In keeping with my compilation of short stories, I have one word for you. BRAS… Are you fer ‘em or against ‘em? I personally hate them with an ice cold passion. Unfortunately, for me and many others, they are a necessary evil. My “girls” would get way out of hand without something to keep them in control. My dear mother bought me my first bra, and I can assure you I was not a happy camper. I believe I threw one of my infamous running hissy fits. That thing, which seemed more like some Medievel torture device, hurt! And, to make matters worse, she bought me one of those “pointy” kind of bras. Back then, your garbage was burned in a barrel in Bastrop. I slipped out and threw that thing away, and set it on fire! Yep, I burned my bra. I was a very forward thinker even back then. My dear mother did figure out what I had done though, and I did get a harsh tongue scolding… along with another bra. Ugh.

I made a deal with her. The Playtex Living Bra had just hit the market and was advertised a lot on TV. I told her I would wear one if, and only if, I could have one of those. To me, they looked to be all stretchy, and maybe at least a little comfy. The Fashion was the only store in Bastrop that carried them. She called my bluff and went in there and got me one. Oh yes, I loved it! I had to. I never wanted to get on my mama’s bad side.

New subject! I have been trying to paint again. I think I got burned out a year or so back. I did a lot of drawings but I just did not want to paint. No inspiration. Then, I got sick and for some weird reason my right thumb aches. My handwriting is “extra chicken scratchy.” So, my daughter, Carolyn, has me in painting rehab. We go to Ruston to a really nice little shop that has different classes. I’ve been doing pretty well, and it is a lot of fun. I do know as an artist, there are days when “you’re the windshield, and some days you’re the bug.” I was a bug the other night. I think I had painting amnesia! I painted the worst project ever. I just didn’t have “it” with me that evening. What did I say about laughing? I sure did… at myself! I have that “laughing at myself” down to a fine art! And know this, creativity can be fleeting. I bet Norman Rockwell was a “bug” sometimes, too. It is just part of the cycle, I guess. All things, whether it be creativity, inspiration, happiness, sadness, go through great and positive phases followed by not so great, or negative phases. When things are bad, just remember that it won’t last forever, and the good is on its way.

Next, kindness and understanding can work wonders for you and everyone you come in contact with. When I was 17, I got my first and only speeding ticket. I was commuting to ULM each day, and of course, being young, stupid and “bulletproof,” I was going 82 in a 60 mph speed zone on Hwy 139. It’s a most curvy road, and I was trying not to be late for my first math test. I didn’t have a care in the world! I had the 8-track blaring out The Rolling Stones when I happened to look in my rear view mirror, and I do believe that State Trooper’s car levitated off the highway! Oh, I was caught…and I was so guilty.

The shoulders of 139 aren’t exactly wide and I really got scared when it took me a ways to pull over. I was shaking all over and then, I started crying before I even got the window down. All I could imagine was my daddy outright killing me. The State Trooper was reputed to be the biggest and meanest in Morehouse Parish, but he was nothing compared to the fear I had of my daddy.

The trooper actually brought me a tissue. I was hoping he was going to give me a warning and let me go on my way to take that test. But no, I got the ticket, but he did have a heart and put 70 mph instead of 82 so that my fine wouldn’t be as high. Let me tell ya’ll, I have never sped since. That experience traumatized me for life, but truth be told, that trooper probably saved my life! Flying down Hwy 139 is not a wise thing to do. See, driving the speed limit is good for everybody’s health.

Valuable lessons learned that day though. We learn through experience, and we should all be kind to each other. You’d be surprised how much the tiniest bit of love can make a difference. So, get out there and smile, laugh, dance, help each other and burn your bras. Be healthy! Be beautiful! I hope I helped some of you look at things differently, or helped you to do some things differently that will, in the big, grand scheme of it all, bless you.