Redefining Fatherhood

ARTICLE BY MEREDITH MCKINNIE
PHOTOGRAPHY BY KELLY MOORE CLARK

 This Father’s Day, we’re highlighting local dads who demonstrate modern versions of fatherhood. Gone are the days when dads stayed on the sidelines. In the following stories, we see fathers involved in their kids’ physical, spiritual, and emotional lives, showing up and leaning in. Redefining fatherhood happens one family at a time, and these dads are testaments to paternal love in practice. 

Jaxon, Deryl and Jake Cole
When Deryl Cole married his college sweetheart Kelli in 2006, the couple planned on having two children close in age. After son Jake was born in 2009, Deryl suffered a spinal cord injury that left him permanently disabled, derailing their plans for close-in-age siblings. God blessed the couple with son Jaxon in 2015, whose name means “God has been gracious.” Thankful for their two sons, Kelli committed to the “Boy Mom” life, and Deryl settled into the responsibility of shaping his boys into esteemed young men. 

Deryl admits life with two boys is always “chaotic.” For now, the boys seek Mom more for their emotional needs while Deryl indulges in their active lives – building forts and playing baseball. Deryl taps into his boyhood experiences as a means of connecting with Jake and Jaxon, imparting life lessons along the way. Deryl’s fatherhood models included his grandfather Clarence Cole, a 1920s “grit guy” who hauled wood from the forest for the U.S. Army. Clarence demonstrated a superior work ethic and stressed the importance of values. Likewise, Deryl’s father Bennie Cole, a fireman for 30 years and reserve sheriff, displayed service for others.  

Deryl remembers thinking, “What kind of father do I want to be, and how will I do that?” The traditional model has evolved, as fathers are taking a more active role. Deryl considers that consistent involvement in all aspects of his kids’ lives to be a blessing. 

Jake (15) is now a freshman at St. Frederick High School, making all A’s and playing with the drumline. He aspires to become a veterinarian and volunteers with Monroe’s Louisiana Purchase Garden & Zoo Explorer program. Deryl serves as treasurer on the Board, as the program gives kids real-world models for future careers. Jake also volunteers with the Humane Society and River City, echoing his grandfather’s commitment to service. Though not interested in sports like his father, Jake is committed to his passion for animals and showcases that love through his extracurricular activities. Jaxon (9) attends Jesus the Good Shepherd School and plays with the Monroe Dirtbags travel baseball team. Jaxon exhibits care for his teammates, making sure others around him are uplifted, regardless of the jersey on their backs. He takes time to thank the umpires, a gesture rarely seen by young players on the field. 

As for wisdom, Deryl encourages his boys to put others before themselves and to adapt that mantra toward their respective endeavors. Deryl understands that the gift of fatherhood is letting his children show the world who they are and supporting them along the way. 

Tyla, Deuce and Tim Tennant
Tim Tennant’s perspectives on career and fatherhood have evolved since his “college baby” Tyla was born 22 years ago. Tim’s father George Tennant modeled the blueprint of success. George started his own funeral home business, growing to 5 locations, and touched so many lives, often offering free services for those in need. When 

George had to miss Tim’s games, he listened to Tim’s games on the radio and discussed plays with his son. Making a living sometimes meant rooting for Tim from afar. Tim’s father modeled community service, often acting as a surrogate father for inner city kids. 

Like his father, Tim originally sought success in multiple fields – serving as a city councilman and  a truancy officer in Rayville, Chairman of the local Democratic Committee, and deputy coroner in Richland Parish. Tyla’s birth meant it was time to be a man, and Tim defined that role as provider. After marrying Jennifer and losing their son Treston Terrell, God blessed the couple with Timothy (Deuce), an honor student and athlete with a servant’s heart. The couple tragically lost a second son Jennings Bell, and Tim again glimpsed loss up close. His father’s life’s work came more fully into focus. When George’s health took a turn, Tim took over the funeral business. Now able to relate intimately to the grief of his patrons, particularly paternal grief, Tim fell in love with the ministry and now serves as pastor at New Direction Baptist Church. He shares domestic duties with Jennifer, insisting fatherhood means being a present partner in everyday life. Jennifer has helped support Tim through his ministry and illness, all while working and in nursing school. 

Independent and an old soul at heart, Tyla is now an adjunct professor at the University of Alabama. When she started student teaching 8th grade and Tim questioned her choice, Tyla replied, “Dad, you’re worried about those children; those children need to be worried about me.” During his bouts with MS, Tyla would return home, caring for her father the way he once cared for her. Likewise, Deuce (referred to as “that dude”), never ceases to amaze his parents, a cheerleader for everyone. At West Ridge Middle School, Deuce is the first one to pick up his teammates, high-fiving players from both teams, making sure everyone feels included. Tyla and Deuce are making their own way, refusing to live off the family name. Tim tells his children, “Live your life; don’t be boxed in.” His kids encourage him and give him the will to fight his disease; as Tim says, “I don’t have MS; MS has me.”

Lillian, Hutton and Hattie Banks
For Hutton Banks, fatherhood was the next step after establishing his career as a civil attorney and finding his life partner, Abi. Hutton describes his wife as his “co-pilot, co-creator, and co-author,” insisting he picked the right one in 2018 and that God played a hand in their union. The couple agreed that they wanted a family, understood the unpredictable nature of parenting, and committed to flexibility throughout the process. Daughter Hattie was born in June 2020. At the forefront of the Covid epidemic, Hutton remembers he and Abi quarantined alone in the hospital, unable to welcome visitors. With no basis for comparison, Hutton and Abi cocooned into their new reality, intent on making the most of their time together. Two years later, daughter Lillian was born with the traditional newborn revelry post-pandemic. The quintessential moment involved Hattie meeting her sister for the first time, witnessing that complete family unit. 

Hattie’s impending birth served as a pivot point for Hutton. He committed to being fully present and available for his children, while anticipating the whirlwind of emotions. Hutton collected fatherhood models throughout his life, including spiritual ministers, mentors, teachers, and Jesus, drawing from several wells to fashion his own parenting style. Paternal grandfather Earl Banks, a World War II veteran and full-blooded Cherokee, modeled attention and awareness. Likewise, maternal grandfather Tom Doles, a naval officer and aviator, demonstrated commitment and service. Hutton describes father Sedric Banks as a remarkable role model – always “present, attentive, supportive, encouraging, and fair.” 

Now with Hattie (5) and Lillian (3), Hutton listens to learn. He knows the girls are becoming their own people; he’s not starting from scratch. Hutton sees his role as “teasing out their aptitudes and deficits, staying hungry to know them.” Their interplay is a phenomenal spectacle. Where Hattie is often gentle with more of a “cerebral, pensive, and thoughtful,” demeanor, Lillian, in contrast, can be more of a “power back,” to use Hutton’s  football metaphor, always on the go. 

Modeling a spiritual life is important in the Banks family. Hutton and Abi try to emphasize to their children the guiding principles espoused in Corinthians, the Prayer of St. Francis. They stress to the girls that God loves them, and to always aim to be virtuous, kind, patient. Raising good citizens, friends, and sisters is the cornerstone of Abi and Hutton’s parenting practice. The tremendous responsibility is a lifelong commitment and established tradition, continuing the legacies that facilitated this modern family. 

Rheagan, Emersyn, Jimmy and Madisyn Stewart
Ouachita Parish Fire Captain, Jimmy Stewart, prides himself on being a “Girl Dad.” Married 18 years to his “beloved,” Natalie, and blessed with 3 daughters: Madisyn (16), Rheagan (14), and Emersyn (6), Jimmy’s cornerstone is commitment to family, a foundation set by his own parents, Rheo and Tammy Stewart. Jimmy notes, “The love Dad has for my Mama is on par with how I love my wife. Natalie is the rock of our family. She’s able to carry burdens I couldn’t dream of.” Co-parenting alongside a confident, capable woman means the girls see female strength up close, and those strong traits manifest as the girls mature. Jimmy demonstrates intentional love for his daughters by being fully present, staying engaged in their respective interests, and foremost, by listening. The Stewarts raise their children as a united team, and Jimmy remains in awe of Natalie’s calm in the chaos. With similar professions, Natalie being a respiratory therapist, the couple leans on one another, prioritizing their relationship to model family values for the children. 

Jimmy believes in his girls, ever proud of the young women they’re becoming. Verbal affirmations are commonplace, “I love you” a consistent exchange in the household dialogue. “I never want them to question the love I have for them,” Jimmy says. Likewise, Natalie’s late father, Gary Telano, modeled familial love – a framework for the Stewarts, whose values include loyalty, respect, and independence. Natalie and Jimmy demonstrate the love and trust that they want the girls to look for in others. Jimmy admits that one word, “Daddy,” holds all the power – the title he values most in the world from the people who matter the most. 

Natalie refers to Jimmy as an “oak” – steadfast, secure, and capable. In an environment built on unconditional love, the girls are thriving. The eldest, Madisyn, resists following the crowd; instead, people gravitate toward her. She is a responsible, helpful, and well-mannered young lady, yet protective of her family, her father’s “Mini Me.” Rheagan is the free spirit, beating her own drum, nothing but full-throated happiness. Emersyn, “the caboose,” is the wild child who never meets a stranger, walking right up to people, enveloping them in hugs, and proclaiming, “My name is Emersyn Kate Stewart.” For Jimmy, living in a house with consistent rays of sunshine is a daily pleasure, as well as purpose-affirming. 

While publicly committing to Natalie almost two decades ago, Jimmy internally committed to each of his girls the day they were born. “When you commit to someone, you are a partnership; you are one. I have a responsibility to my partner and my kids – that’s all that matters to me in the world.” Life brings challenges, but standing on that sacred commitment to family is and always will be paramount for the Stewarts.