Normal Can Still Be Normal

Even if the New Normal Outside Our Homes Look Different

article by Cindy G. Foust

Happy fall, readers, as we enjoy the most perfect morning we have had this entire year. Isn’t that safe to say? I mean, this year has been one that my grandchildren will be studying about in their history books, am I right?

But this morning, this morning I walked outside and everything seemed a little like normal… the air was crisp and cool… the sun was shining… the birds were signing… and my donkey was braying for me to bring her some apples and carrots at 7:30 a.m.

While I was feeding my pet, I got to thinking about this crazy year and the roller coaster ride it’s been and how it’s now October and things are still seemingly turned upside down.

I was actually looking at my Vision Board (yes, just call me Miss Pinterest) and my goals for 2020, and right now, the only goal I’m interested in is just getting to the end of 2020… like at a warp speed. Anybody on my same page? But the truth is, I’ve reached the point where I am actually craving normalcy… like craving like you crave a Dairy Queen dipped cone. And that craving got a little satisfaction when I stepped outside this morning and it FELT normal.

It felt like a season change, just like in years past, when the dog days of summer are nearing the end and you start dragging out the pumpkin scented candles and your sweaters. Or you buy that first bag of candy corn. Or your children start talking about what they want to be for Halloween. Yeah, that normalcy.

Because everywhere we look right now, things are far from normal. No matter where you are or where you go, you are staring back at folks through a mask (for the most part). If you happen to be somewhere and someone coughs or sneezes, people start running from that store as if they are training for the Olympic trials. Our hands are calloused from the hand washing and the sanitizing. People continue to stockpile toilet paper, paper towels and hand sanitizer in their newly built bunkers on the outside chance we find ourselves in another shortage for paper products to treat a respiratory infection.

And certainly we are social distancing in every capacity of our lives, whether we are in a store or a football stadium or the bank…we don’t get closer than six feet; and if we do recognize someone in their mask, we nod our heads in acknowledgement like we are at the military academy.

I did have a friend break the rules the other day and actually side hug me but the store clerk came and promptly sprayed us down with a backpack sprayer of Lysol and told us we would be escorted to our cars with a Lysol escort. Just kidding… she did hug me but we made sure no one was watching. Yes, you can say life is anything but normal these days… even though society is fighting tooth and nail for it to get back to that.

Next week, school starts back for all grades in a normal capacity. Restaurants are seating nearly normal capacity. Football stadiums will at least have “some” capacity, even though we have no idea what that’s going to look like until we actually get to play a game. I did watch a college game last night and the people were spread out so far apart they would need a bullhorn to talk to each other, much less worrying about getting a virus.

Alas, however, these are the times we are in and like it or not, here we all are. I’ve written the last few months about businesses, particularly small ones, that have struggled to find their way through this pandemic nightmare. I’ve talked about extending grace, being patient, exercising understanding and just being kind as we know there is no handbook anywhere in the world of the universe to tell us how to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Because that’s what it feels like we all are, right? Just a bunch of eggs that are waiting to be cracked? And scrambled? And fried… or however you like your eggs.

But what I haven’t said much about is our home lives. I mentioned how much I enjoyed being with my family in those first few months; the time we spent together that we never get to; being forced to “shelter-in-place” definitely had this writer in a melancholy sort of Norman Rockwell state of mind for a few months.

Flash forward to September on the cusp of October and the “rules” may have loosened a bit for the outside world, but what about that inside world… where we nest… where we live… where we take sanctuary? As I have mulled over this month’s column, I’ve given a lot of thought to the word “normal” and here’s what I know.

Just because we have these big bad wolves lurking “outside,” we can still control the climate inside our homes. We can still control decorating our homes for fall. We can still put the pumpkins and mums on the front porch. We can still light the pumpkin scented candles and bake the sugar cookies. We can still insist on the entire family sitting down for a meal and talking about our day which will include how many times we washed our hands and what color mask we wore to school. Just kidding… surely there’s more to talk about than that.

Here’s the point, readers, for all the things that we can’t control right now, we need to dial in and laser focus on what we can. As society begins to heal from the chokehold the virus has had on us, for however long that will take, the reality is we are still in charge of what goes on within the walls of our homes. We can still do whatever it is that we “normally” do.

Normal can still be normal, even if the “new normal” outside our homes looks different. That normalcy I am craving is still very much attainable… it’s right in front of me and my family and we can choose to give in to the madness that is circling the wagons, or we can fight to create the safe haven our families have come to expect.

A few weeks ago, one of my children walked through and said “Mom, are you going to put out the Halloween village?” For you anti-Halloweeners… I get it… I truly do, but I trick-or-treated until I was a grown adult and I don’t worship the devil or bite the heads off bats in an Ozzy Osbourne ritual, so try not to judge me too harshly. Some of my fondest memories of my childhood were loading up in the back of my dad’s truck, dressed as Dolly Parton, and heading out to trick-or-treat, so I’m keeping those memories and have made new ones with my kiddos through the years. Wait. Where was I?

Oh, getting the house in full fall swing…and in full swing it is. My daughter and I had such a great few days, pulling everything out, looking at old pictures, buying a few new things to add to our collection… and things are, shall we say, normal. The house smells and looks like fall. Normal. My son grilled for us last night and we watched a football game. Normal. We sat around the table and talked about going on a hike in Arkansas to see the leaves and social distance. Okay, sort of normal, but you get what I’m saying, right?

If you haven’t already, take charge of the normal climate where you still have all the control… your home. If circumstances dictate that some of your old normal has to be a new normal, embrace it… go with it. Life is soldiering on, despite the pandemic or the election or a hurricane or whatever is going on outside our homes, and trust me, all of that is out of control and out of our control, so dial back in, circle the wagons and strive for the one area, the one lane where you control the environment. Pop the corn, watch the movies, or the games, go for walks, decorate the house…whatever normal looks like for your family, take it by the horns and ride this bucking bull out on your terms.

Cindy G. Foust is a wife, mom, author and blogger. You can find her blog at the alphabetmom.com for weekly columns about home life, parenting, small business stories and insight with a smidgen of literacy. Give her a like or follow on Facebook and Instagram.