I Remember

article by PAUL LIPE
opinion expressed is that of the writer

I remember when I watched the video of the wedding, I was vividly moved by something that I had not noticed during the actual ceremony.  The primary reason I missed this particular action was because of where I was seated, I did not have a view of the aisle where the wedding party approached the front of the church.  The video made all the difference.

I watched it as it showed the father of the bride escorting his daughter down that aisle to join the pastor and the groom.  When they arrived at their appointed destination, the groom moved to stand beside his future father-in-law who, at this juncture, stood between the bride and the groom.  Then it happened! The bride’s father reached out with his free right hand and placed that hand on the shoulder of the groom, drawing him into the circle and, communicating to him an unspoken message of confidence that was well-received by the young man.

Let me explain what I think was communicated by this silent gesture.  First, I believe this was a demonstration of the father’s (and the family’s) acceptance of this young man into the “clan.”  He no longer was just a young suitor who seemed always to show up at dinnertime, knowing that he would be invited  to share the meal. Now, he had his own plate!  No more an outsider, but one of the family.

A second message given to the groom was that of approval.  The father of the bride had been caring for his daughter since her birth.  Now he is transferring this responsibility to the young fellow standing beside him.  This may cause this groom some anxiety, but it should also be a boost to his confidence as he thinks, “Her father trusts me with one dear to his heart; maybe I can provide for her!”

The father of the bride is perhaps expressing his feelings in the way of affirmation.  He has gotten to know this young man during the time of courtship.  Obviously the dad has learned something about the suitor’s character as he observed the groom-to-be’s actions in various situations. In addition, doubtless the dad has done some “research” and knows something about his dependability and work ethic.  Above all, by now he knows a lot about the intended’s faith and his relationship with God. Affirming his future son-in-law’s character could be unparalleled as a boost to the confidence in the young man’s heart.

The action of the father of the bride is a good way to express affection.  The members of the bride’s family were a group noted for frequently saying to each other, “I love you.”  Certainly the couple who were about to exchange their vows of commitment to one another had developed a deep and abiding love for their future mates.  But on a different level, all members of the family loved all the other members.  No doubt, the bride’s father had developed an affection for the person who was apparently the object of his daughter’s love.

I am so thankful that I was able to watch  a replay of the wedding by way of the video.  Otherwise, I would have missed one of the most poignant moments of the whole ceremony.  There were many other moments for me to remember from the God-honoring worship service – the music, the pageantry, the vows, the Word proclaimed, the gathered families – all done to please  God and to be a blessing to the happy couple.  But for me, this unrehearsed action by the father of the bride, viewed only on replay  by me, made this marriage ceremony one of my most memorable experiences.