BayouKidz

She Took Charge of Her Story
SHE OVERCAME
Powerful.

article by Cindy G. Foust

Happy month of Thanksgiving, readers, as I write this column while I sit in my pumpkin patch and admire all my pumpkins. I mean, how many of you knew I was related to Charlie Brown and his great pumpkin? Incidentally, that is absolutely not true, but I felt I needed something to get your attention this month and I thought a column on how to grow your own pumpkins would do the trick. It was either that or write about fall fashion tips for women, because we all know that is something I am definitely an expert at.

Especially since I have to ask my daughter which shoes to wear with my outfit, or worse, how to put on the new liquid eye liner I recently discovered. On Facebook. Seriously readers, it’s all the rage in Hollywood, so hey, it must be good, right (insert eye roll here)? I do hope, all kidding aside, that you and your families are enjoying the cool crisp days we are having… cool and crisp in the 70’s, that is. I just can’t talk about this lack of fall weather anymore, because I just want to sit on my patio and drink hot tea and watch my donkey, but it’s impossible to get in the fall spirit with the ceiling fans still blowing you off the patio. And sweat trickling down your back. All while you are still wearing shorts and flip-flops. Right?

By the time this magazine lands in your driveway, we will be just a few short weeks from my personal favorite holiday of the year. It’s hard to believe it’s been an entire year since I wrote about turkey and dressing and sweet potato casserole, but indeed it has.

But, November truly is a month when I try to just slow down my life and the lives of my family members, and take it all in. And, while we are slowing it down a notch, we should really try to dial in on the sentiment of this month, and what it really means to be grateful. Oh, and kind. Sound like a Hallmark movie, yet?

Around my house, we really do talk about having an attitude of gratitude and well, I’ve actually written about that in columns past, and I periodically use this platform to discuss this attribute. This month, however, I really felt compelled to write about a recent experience, so bear with me, readers, you know how I like to yarn a good tale (forget Charlie Brown, I sound like Jane Austen) and then tie it all together at the end of the column.

Okay, so here’s what happened. A few months ago I got a call from a good friend, just out of the blue. This is someone I have been friends all of my life, but because of the busyness of life, I don’t get to see or talk to her as often as I would like.The conversation started out light enough, just a checking in kind of call, but by the end, things had progressed to a heavier conversation, and one that left me very introspective (this never bodes well for my readers). You have those friends, right? The ones that can call you at any time, any day and you pick right up where you left off?

It’s really cool because they are sort of like a security blanket in your war chest of friends. I like that analogy even if I just made it up. Of course we all do, and on this particular morning, when the conversation turned, as it always does, to our children, well, I was reminded of how lucky I was to have the friends I do.

As conversations go, we started discussing our kids, updating each other on their lives and suddenly my friend got a little quiet. I don’t exactly remember the trigger point, and it’s not really important, but whatever it was it prompted my friend to share with me the struggles her young daughter had been going through. I listened quietly while she talked about her child’s learning disability that not only made her academic life challenging, but also impacted her social life, as well. As I listened to my friend “beat herself up” about the recent diagnosis and her not knowing how long or how severely her child was struggling, I also heard the cries of a mother who was just relieved that her determined child was overcoming.

For you see, on the outside, this child seemingly had it all…she’s beautiful, kind, athletic, funny and has a plethora of supportive family and friends. But the key word here is seemingly… because not everything is always what it seems. My friend discussed how her daughter had over the years developed coping skills, but on the inside, she was oftentimes hurt and embarrassed. Sadly, these situations sometimes resulted in her being left out or made her feel uncomfortable. I say this routinely in this column, but parenting is not for the faint of heart and we all have our struggles with our kids, right? So mother-to-mother, my heart ached for my friend and for their family, because as a parent, we only want our children to be mentally and physically healthy, right?

But as the plot thickened, and the story continued, I began to see the real beauty in this yarn of a tale, and that is how her child has persevered. Maybe it’s because she has two strong parents who support and encourage her, but this young girl took charge of her story and made it her own.
She set goals; she put in the extra work; she overcame. Powerful.

And the parenting (and adult) lesson for the rest of us? Don’t be quick to judge someone based on what you’ve heard or what you see, because we never know what someone is dealing with in their life.

Internal struggles aren’t visible, and most of the time we aren’t privy to the whole story…their story. Don’t get me wrong, readers, I have been guilty of it, too, but this story, this one conversation has been a notch on my learning curve. That’s right, I still have a learning curve, and at 53-years old I still consider myself a student of life, and sometimes I don’t get a very good grade. It’s hard to admit that I, too, jump to conclusions, form opinions based on other’s perceptions, when I’m perfectly capable for forming my own.

But the real truth here, the good stuff if you would, is we all get a chance, every day to fix what might be broken. My friend’s child decided to fix what was broken in her life, to not be a victim but rather a warrior (as a reminder, I was once a Woodlawn warrior, and a former Miss Woodlawn Junior High) and push aside the negativity and focus on the positivity (that sounds like a really bad song or greeting card). We all have struggles and just because we have the capability of putting on a “happy face” and going about our lives, doesn’t mean that things are really okay.

Not for us, not for those around us, and we have the opportunity every day to refrain from harsh judgment and just focus on trying to be a good friend; an attentive ear; a support system. And while we are at it, just having a grateful heart for the life we’ve been given, even the struggles that we go through make us stronger (some of us should be able to bench press a Buick, can I get an A-MEN?), right?

As we stand on the cusp of the most wonderful time of the year, take some time with your family to be thankful and grateful but also to be mindful…be sensitive…be kind. That’s a lot, right, even for adults. But you never know who might be in your lane, in your path, that might need a thread of kindness. I am grateful, readers, for my brave friends, who allowed me to share their story, their learning curve, that might, in some small way, help enhance yours.