Bayou Kids | Life Lessons

Teaching Our Kids To Be Transparent and Trustworthy
article by Cindy G. Foust

Well, well, well…if it isn’t the month of September and I am here for it. Don’t get me wrong, readers, I love the dog days of summer, the long “extra daylight” afternoons on my patio, but I will not miss these temperatures. It’s the time of those summer months where I am eagerly anticipating the cool, crisp mornings, football and all things pumpkin. Yes,  I am one of those people. Give me all the pumpkin spices, pumpkin lattes, pumpkin candles and the smell of apples and cinnamon when you walk in my house. Yes, I’m ready. This fall season, however, is sitting a little differently for me this year. As you know, if you follow me in this column, and I am most certain that all 14,000 of our subscribers do, you know that my baby girl graduated and is about to take on her “College Era.” And if I’m being honest, being here for “that” has taken a little getting used to. Usually at this time of year, my daughter and I have stockpiled all the new school year necessities…new outfits, shoes, backpacks, lunchboxes, supplies…all of course, color coded and matching. Before her was her brother, who also liked certain notebooks and would only use a certain mechanical pen. They are, after all, my children. But, being a “dude,” his shopping habits were a little less intense than those of his sister. But right about now, friends, my girl is ramping up for rush, college classes and Snoopy pajamas. Sorry, had to throw that in there since she had me go with her Sunday to get said pajamas. Life is changing here at the Foust house…there’s no doubt, but honestly, it’s a pretty sweet season. 

Did I mention that I have a 5-year old granddaughter who is a dream? Not sure if I had reported that in, yet. But, for all you parents out there getting your tribe ready to start back to the grind, or if you already have, my fingerprints on that season of life is still pretty fresh. My daddy said to me pretty routinely that parenting is the hardest job you will ever love. Like so many things, he was right on the money with that observation. I know I don’t have the letters behind my name that make me an authority on parenting, but what I do have is nearly 27 years of experience of being “mom.” What a glorious title, and while I have had my share of happy, sad, hard, tragic, fun and even confused (all you first time parents know of what I speak…you walk around in a catatonic state of both bewilderment and fright), I can honestly say it has been 9,855 days of an extraordinarily blessed life. But, parenting my children through some difficult circumstances certainly wasn’t easy.

Anybody out there in full agreement? Of course, there is because anytime our children are hurt or are troubled or make decisions that have consequences, parenting gets really tough. In the columns to come, you will likely hear me talk about my daddy a lot. He was a constant source of wisdom throughout my parenting life and I leaned into that pretty routinely. Now, the one thing I will say is he had the proverbial blinders on when it came to his grandchildren. So sometimes, the advice I was seeking was skewed by his affection for his grands! However, he was always full of so much humor, in spite of the circumstances and his wisdom was sharp and on the money every time. When I flash back to my own childhood and teen years, I remember much of that same advice as he relished his role of “daddy.” Every year when it was time to start to school, he would give me and my sisters (probably my brother, too, but that was much later when Baby Jesus was going through middle and high school) the “talk” that would start with treating others as we want to be treated. Daddy was a huge proponent of being kind, especially in situations when other people aren’t expecting it. Which, is more than likely, more often than not. I think what they say is true, that what the world needs is a little more kindness, and we have all lived through experiences where kindness was no where to be found. In truth, if we live by the mantra of treating others as we want to be treated, then we most certainly all want to be treated kindly. We also want to be truthful and honest in every situation we find ourselves in. Daddy always said “A lie isn’t worth a pound of horse…well you know…manure.” Teaching our kids to be transparent and trustworthy will take them far in their life. We also wanted to be treated fairly, where our sides of the story are heard. Both my parents were excellent listeners and always gave their children the chance to tell their side. I pray I have reciprocated that with my own kids. And finally, we all want to feel included and accepted. Listen readers, we could write pages about this very sensitive thread in this country right now, am I right? But taking it way back to when I was growing up, we didn’t call it that, but the truth is, we all want to be accepted and feel a sense of belonging. I think kids today have a much harder time with this than we did, right? It’s harder to find our place, to have our space where we are safe and accepted. I hope I have instilled these qualities in my children and I hope I have carried them with me into parenthood and now grandparenthood.

As my family reaches that “one year” without Daddy mark, I want to thank you, readers, for letting me write about him, share his life, his wisdom, his humor. I know there will be many stories to come, but it feels right this month, again sharing Daddy’s thoughts on how we can teach our children to love and care for others as we find ourselves in our “back to school era.” It’s hard to be on the receiving end sometimes, but it’s always right to be on the giving end. I pray for a safe school year full of wonderful memories with your children and they themselves will find their space that allows them to thrive and flourish into the person they will be.

Cindy G. Foust is a wife, mom, author and blogger. You can find her blog at the alphabetmom.com for weekly columns about home life,  parenting, small business stories and insight with a smidgen of literacy. Give her a like or follow on Facebook and Instagram.