Ask Erin: WEDDING RULES YOU SHOULD FOLLOW

by ERIN SHARPLIN LOVE | [email protected]

When it comes to weddings, many brides (and guests) are confused about what is considered proper etiquette and what is a “faux pas.” Although some tried and true rules have become more lenient, there are still some that should be followed now and for many more years to come. They are listed below. I hope they make this wedding season more enjoyable and relaxing for you. After all, now you will know exactly what to do!

1. It is inappropriate to invite a guest to a pre-wedding party but not the wedding itself. If done, this can appear callous and as though you are just inviting them to gain a gift.

2. Try not to make your guests wait past the scheduled hour of the wedding. I would suggest that ten minutes is the longest you should postpone the start time.

3. It is still frowned upon to list your registry information on your invitation. However, it is appropriate to list it on your wedding website instead.

4. Even though evites are easier and less costly, it is not in good taste to send them to a wedding guest. You should mail a professionally- printed invitation instead.

5. Never make your guests pay for their drinks. If you are on a budget, you can skip alcoholic beverages altogether or limit the type of alcohol (wine and beer only, for instance) and you can limit the amount. When it is gone, it’s gone..

6. Don’t forget about your vendors! You should make accommodations so they are able to take a break and eat.

7. Try your best to greet all of your guests. They took the time to attend the wedding and to show you their support; it is only appropriate that they receive a proper “hello” and “thank you for coming.”

8. Your RSVP return envelope should have postage already included. Never make your guest place their own stamp on your return envelope.
9. If someone gives you a gift you must send them a handwritten thank-you note. No ifs, ands, or buts, please!!!

10. As a guest you should always send the RSVP card back in a timely manner. For some reason, many guests have become lax in responding to an RSVP when, in fact, it is very helpful for the bride and groom to know how many people they should prepare for.

11. If your children’s names are not listed on the invitation, they are not invited. Do not ask the couple if you can bring them because they will feel obliged to say yes. Take the opportunity to have a wonderful evening with your partner sans children.

12. On that same note…if your invitation does not list “and guest” you are to attend the wedding solo.

13. Always arrive to the ceremony ten minutes early! It is NOT ok to arrive to a wedding ceremony late. You can disrupt the entire event.

14. If you are invited to the ceremony and reception, never skip the ceremony and go to the reception only. It will send the message that you are there only for the drinks and the party.

15. Leave cellphones in the car!! If you must have yours on hand, turn the sound off.

16. Never wear white to a wedding. Yes!! This rule still applies. On the other hand, black is ok to wear.

17. Never complain about anything! If the bride seats you next to your arch nemesis – mouth closed. If you dislike her floral design – mouth closed. If you don’t like the cake – mouth closed. Comprende?

18. As a guest, you should never post pictures of the bride and groom on social media. Allow them to post what they want the world to see.

19. RSVP means “Respondez, s’il vous plait.” Which translates to “Please respond.” Therefore, it is inappropriate to put “Please RSVP” on your invitations because you are actually saying “please” twice.

20. And, finally, never get drunk! Limit your alcohol intake to one or two beverages and drink plenty of water. Creating a lasting memory is a great thing unless you are being remembered for how wasted you were.

So, what do you think? Did you learn something new? Won’t you feel more comfortable when you next attend a wedding? The rules of etiquette always guide me in the right direction and I hope they will do the same for you. Have a great wedding season!