Ask Erin | Things I Wish I Had Learned Sooner

by ERIN SHARPLIN LOVE  |  [email protected]

“You live and you learn!”  That adage is true, and there are some things that I really wish I had learned sooner than I did.  I am sure that the same is true for each of you reading this article right now, too.  Let’s make each other a promise…  I will tell you things I wish I had known, and you send me all the things you wish you had known.  Hopefully our efforts will save us, or someone we love, from future grief.  So, without further ado, my lessons learned are below.  Some are words of wisdom, and some are just fun, useful info.  I hope you get some inspiration from both. 

1. Never Assume!  Please excuse my pun, but when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.  You see the play on words there?  I have learned that one should never assume but should always ask.   When you assume, you are thinking for the other person, and that rarely turns out the way it was meant to.  

2. “No” Isn’t a Bad Word!  I used to be the world’s worst at being able to say “no.”

Sidenote- this doesn’t apply to my kids.  I still have trouble saying “no” to them, but this is a totally different point.  What I mean is that saying no to a request, invitation, or order when you are already overbooked or stressed is a good thing!  Remember that saying “yes” to something might mean that you have to say “no” to something else.  Read that again.  What will you be saying “no” to?  Extra time with your family?  A dinner with friends?  A school or sporting event for you child?  Much needed downtime for yourself?  When you look at it this way, who and what you say “yes” to makes much more sense.  

3. Adaptability!  Adaptability is one of the most important characteristics to nurture. Think about the myriad of things that are thrown at you on a daily basis.  Do you adapt or let chaos ensue?  Not being able to adapt to any situation causes unnecessary stress and makes life so much harder.  Learn to be more flexible.

4. Time Does Fly!  As I am writing this my son is 11 and my daughter is 9.  When in the midst of tantrums, diaper changes, homework, and the other not-so-fun stuff, time creeps by at a snails pace, but in reality, it is flying by.  Savor as much of it as you can.  Don’t rush it.  This is something I just learned this year.  Time is our enemy.  

5. Whether You Say You Can or You Can’t, You Are Correct!   The more you say the words “I can’t,” the more your mind and body try to make it true.  What you say to yourself or say out loud really does affect the way you act or react.  Change your wording to I can or I will and watch your mind and body try to make it true.  Can you imagine the possibilities?

6. The Right Time is now!  About 99% of the time the “right time” never arrives.  If you want something, pursue it now!  Don’t wait!  You never know what the future holds.

7. Yes!  You Do Need to Write it Down!  One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that we will remember.   No you won’t!  Write it down! 

8. Combat Rudeness with Niceness!  It’s quite fulfilling.  You should try it!  

9. Forgiveness is a Gift to Ourselves.  Forgiveness is not something you do for others; it’s something you do for yourself.  

10. Out of Sight, IS Out of Mind.  As a professional organizer, I know this to be true, but I learned to take my own advice later than I should have.  Clear bins are your friend!  

Now that I have shared the lessons that I wish I had learned sooner, I think it apropos to share the lessons that I wish other people would learn.  

1.  Manners Matter!  A child or adult that displays proper manners and respect will always be preferred over someone who does not.  

2. Courtesy Costs Nothing!  Opening the door for someone, offering a smile, or letting a car out in front of you are all examples of easy ways to be courteous to others.  Do it often!

3. Criticize in Private and Praise in Public.  Nothing is more degrading than being criticized in front of others. 

Well, there you have it!  Now it’s your turn!  What do you wish you had learned sooner?  Please share with me at [email protected] or find me on social media!