Ask Erin| Never Make These Dining Etiquette Mistakes

by ERIN SHARPLIN LOVE  |  erinlove@panachebyerin.com

In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, etiquette rules might sometimes appear outdated or overly formal. However, these social norms and conventions play a crucial role in shaping our interactions, fostering respect, and maintaining harmony within society. Etiquette is much more than just polite gestures; it is the foundation upon which positive communication and relationships are built.  Many of those interactions will happen at a dining table and in other public arenas.  The purpose of this article is to help you preempt any dining etiquette mistakes before they happen.  

Etiquette Mistake #1: Your bread plate is always to your left.  Furthermore, bread should always be broken piece-by-piece, buttered, and then eaten.  Never butter the entire piece of bread and then take a bite from it.  The reasoning behind this rule is that bread and butter is typically messy and crumbly.  By breaking the bread into manageable pieces you will be less likely to drop crumbs on your clothing and get butter on the corners of your mouth.  

Etiquette Mistake #2: Anything that is dropped on the floor should remain there.  If it happens to be your utensil, simply notify the waiter and request a new one.  The exception would be if the item is in the way and could pose a safety issue.  In this case, retrieve the item but do not set it on the clean table or table cloth.  

Etiquette Mistake #3: Salt and pepper should always be passed together.  They are a pair and should never be separated.  Also keep in mind that you should never reach across the table when passing.  Simply pass to the closest person to you and ask them to pass it on.  

Etiquette Mistake #4: Never pick your teeth or blow your nose at the table.  (I know!  This shouldn’t HAVE to be said, but here we are.)  If you find yourself needing to do one of these things, excuse yourself from the table and head to the privacy of a bathroom.

Etiquette Mistake #5: Sweetener packets or the paper from a pat of butter should be folded and placed under the edge of your saucer or bread plate.  Never crumple it up and toss it in the middle of the table or, even worse, throw it on the floor. 

Etiquette Mistake #6: Remember to say “please” and “thank you” to your server.  It always amazes me when this simple mannerly rule is neglected.  The same respect should also be given to your dinner partners, as well.   

Etiquette Mistake #7: If you discover a piece of bone, gristle, or a seed in your food, remove it the same way it went in. For instance, if you put a piece of fish in your mouth only to discover a tiny bone, gently place the bone on the fork with the tip of your tongue. Don’t spit it out in a grotesque way.  The only other option is to discreetly place the item in your napkin.  

Etiquette Mistake #8: Never double dip!  Break your chip or bread into a bite-sized piece and then dip.  

Etiquette Mistake #9: Try not to pile your trash on your plate and push it away from you when you are finished. The server should be able to tell when you are done if you place your silverware at the 10 o’clock and 4 o’clock position and place your hands in your lap. 

Etiquette Mistake #10: Wait until everyone at your table has been served before beginning. If you happen to be seated with a large number of people, it’s ok to wait until those sitting directly beside you have been served.  

Etiquette Mistake #11: Never keep your cell phone on the table.  Place it away safely in your pocket or your purse.  If you are expecting an important call, simply let your dinner partner know that you may have to step away to take the call.  

Etiquette Mistake #12: Always remember to place your napkin in your lap IMMEDIATELY upon sitting down. If you must leave the table at any point, the napkin will go in your seat. 

Those who navigate meals effortlessly don’t memorize a rulebook. They practice the basics until they become second nature.  Practice makes perfect.