Ask Erin: Current Etiquette

by ERIN SHARPLIN LOVE | [email protected]

The importance of etiquette has been on my mind lately. I am not sure if it is because I am doing my best to rear loving, respectful, and happy children, or if it is the constant barrage of negative news and bad attitudes that we all come in contact with on an almost daily basis. Regardless, I have been a huge proponent of teaching our children manners. In order to do that though, we ourselves must have a clear understanding of good manners. So, here I am to refresh your memory of proper behavior. I want to help each of you become the best that you can be.

Ideally, etiquette is about being comfortable and making other people around you comfortable as well. It isn’t a strict form of punishment that should be difficult to master. It is just as simple as following the “golden rule, “Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You.” Practicing proper etiquette shows that you respect yourself and others. I know that you want to exude confidence and teach your children to do the same, so let me help.

Do you make a good first impression? Think back on a recent first meeting you had with someone. Did they leave you feeling positive and with a smile on your face? If so, THAT is a good first impression. Now, think about what made that meeting memorable. A good first impression consists of the following:
▫ A” put-together” outward appearance
▫ Good posture
▫ A pleasant smile
▫ Eye contact
▫ A firm handshake
▫ Pleasant conversation

Do you follow each of these etiquette rules when meeting new people, or do you have the following characteristics?
▫  A disheveled, unkempt appearance (like you might have just rolled out of bed)
▫ Rounded shoulders, head down
▫ A furrowed brow and rushed demeanor
▫ Looking down at your cell phone
▫ A weak, rushed handshake
▫ Short, prompt-only answers

Showing good manners is about being PRESENT in each moment. Put the phone down and pay attention. Think about how you can make someone else feel better about themselves and you.

Do you know how to navigate a table? Some etiquette rules should be second nature by now, but sometimes we just need to be reminded.

When was the last time you practiced the following rules?
▫ Placed the napkin in your lap immediately upon sitting down at a restaurant. This rule applies even for paper napkins. If you are at someone’s home, you should wait for everyone to be seated, and when the host places her napkin in her lap, that is your cue to do the same.
▫ When leaving the table your napkin goes in the seat. Not back on the table.
▫ No elbows on the table, ever.
▫  Glasses are held by the stem, not the bowl, as it will leave fingerprints.
▫ Always wait for others to be served before you begin eating.
▫ Plates of food are always passed to the right.
▫ Nothing should be on the table that isn’t part of the meal.
▫ Salt and pepper are a pair and should always be passed together.
▫ Bread is buttered one bite at a time.
▫ Never double dip.

Did you know that there is gym etiquette? Etiquette isn’t relegated to the dinner table and to introductions. There are rules to follow in every situation that will make everyone feel at ease and respected.
For instance, here are some rules you should always follow:
▫  Always re-rack your equipment and put items back where you got them.
▫ Don’t spend too much time on a piece of equipment.
▫ Keep your music to yourself.
▫ Never leave sweat on the bench. Always wipe when you are finished.
▫ Do not talk on your cell phone.

The reality is that there are, and should be, etiquette rules for every social situation that you may encounter. In the end though, they are not really “rules” in my eyes. Better, they are “graces” that should be applied to show caring, love, and respect for yourself and those around you. Good manners matter.

If you want to learn more about my etiquette classes and presentations, or if you have a simple etiquette question,please reach out to me! I am happy to help.