A Fresh Parenting Prospect

Starting the New Year Off with a New Outlook on Raising Your Kids

article by Cindy G. Foust

Happy New Year BayouLife community, in what is now the year 2019. It sounds like a space odyssey type number actually, but here we are on the cusp of another new year…a year that will be fresh with new promise and opportunities. These new promises and opportunities usually start with New Year’s resolutions that revolve around everything from losing weight to saving money.

I, too, had been giving a lot of thought to what my goals and expectations will be for this next year when a friend of mine emailed me the transcript of the eulogy given by George W. Bush for this father, the late president George H.W. Bush. Now before you get your tinsel in a tangle (you know most of you still have it out), this has nothing to do with politics, but rather, more to do with honoring the end of someone’s life, someone who lived with great dignity and character. When I was reading through the transcript, I was struck by the following quote from President Bush’s eulogy: “In his inaugural address, the 41st President of the United States said this, ‘We cannot hope only to leave our children a bigger car, a bigger bank account; we must hope to give them a sense of what it means to be a loyal friend, a loving parent, a citizen who leaves his home, his neighborhood, and town better than he found it. What do we want the men and women who work with us to say when we are no longer there? That we are more driven to succeed than anyone around us or that we stopped to ask if a sick child had gotten better and stayed a moment there to trade a word of friendship?’”

Now this, readers, to quote my 13-year old daughter, this is everything. These few words really gave me some things to chew on…and despite your political affiliations, I hope they will give you a few things that will give you pause as well.

First, I don’t think the President was being critical of being “driven” or “successful,” but that we shouldn’t be so consumed with leaving a big estate at the court house for our kids. Rather, that we should be there for our children, and instill in them values that they see in us. Wait. Like my kids might actually be a reflection of me? Wait. Like am I a good parent? A good friend? A good neighbor? As I usually do, I got to thinking…what “reflection” my children are seeing. I used to think it was important for them to see me working hard to build something from a “zero” and never give up on your dreams…no matter how long it might take to realize it. But as I get older, I find that there are more substantial legacies that I should be concerned about leaving my children with…legacies that really have nothing to do with how much money I have in my bank account for them to spend once I am gone. And these same legacies, as so astutely pointed out by President Bush, are legacies that have everything to do with being a good, engaged parent; a parent who has high moral expectations for their children and consequences when they aren’t met; for being a parent who loves their children unconditionally, no matter what flaws they have or mistakes they make (we are all flawed, by the way); for setting an example of being a friend that is loyal and dependable, so that they too, will be a loyal and dependable friends; and for being a good citizen who thinks of others before they think of themselves.

Wow…that’s a lot of legacy shoes to fill. But by the same token, the biggest gift that God has given us is our children, and the biggest responsibility that we have been charged with is raising them to be adults who will be responsible, loving and kind-hearted people (that’s not in a parenting manual anywhere, by the way, just straight out of the Ollie Caples Road parenting manual my parents used.)
Oh…and law-abiding, don’t forget teaching them to stay within the confines of the law. Any of this speaking to you as well, readers? Jackie Kennedy once said “If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters very much.”

Do you ever find yourself grading your parenting skills? Of course we all do, or maybe you don’t ever think about it, but there are some days I think I’m an A+ and some days I feel like an F- but here’s the thing, I’m trying…in all other areas of my life, that I might give a halfway attempt at, parenting always gets my best effort, even on days when I “bungle,” and there are plenty of those days.
So, what says you, readers? Are we ready to start this new year with fresh parenting prospects together? This month marks my six-year anniversary with BayouLife and good grief am I all over the place some months. But boy, do I try to keep our topics on current, relevant family issues and encourage all things that will enhance and strengthen the bonds of our families. There’s definitely safety in numbers, and I like the idea of having an entire community to “co-parent” with. So, thanks for being “co-pilots” with me on this parenting journey, because no matter how old we grow to be, it will always be the most important role we play.