BayouKidz | Embracing Life

article by Cindy G. Foust

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening, in the lane, snow is glistening, a beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight, walking in a winter wonderland.” Readers, I wait all year to sing you those lyrics, except I’m not really singing. No, I’m Milli Vanilli and my mouth is moving but no noise is coming out. Full disclosure: I can’t sing, I want to really bad, but I cannot carry a tune in a bucket. I sing in my car like I’m Adelle and about to win a Grammy, but the truth is, I sound like I have bronchial asthma with a frog in my throat. No offense to you out there that might have suffered from that in real life, but I bet it’s hard for you to sing on key, too. So instead of singing, I’ll just stick with writing to my friends, it’s really safer that way. I guess I will start this month’s column with a big “how’s everyone doing out there?” Anybody want to share their pre-holiday stress stories? How’s the shopping going? Decorating? Y’all still have your foot in the Thanksgiving door or is it in the Christmas one? I will be transparent, as I always am, and let everyone know that my home is now fully decorated for Christmas. Annnnnddddd it’s November 15th. Before the comments start flowing, readers, I just really, really love Christmas and I love the way my house being decorated makes me feel. It gives me joy, peace and happiness to come home and just turn on all my lights and sit in the ambience. Okay, that was hokey a bit, with the joy, peace and happiness reference, but it’s the honest truth, friends. A quiet room, with twinkling lights, lots of lights actually, my dog in my lap and Christmas music playing is my kind of rest. And lately, I have needed a little extra.

Not that anything is wrong with me, no I feel better than I have in years, friends. All is well with my health and my family’s health. I’m fine…I’m totally fine. That’s really our biggest blessing, right? But lately, I’ve had to have some really difficult conversations with others who are struggling with health issues. In fact, I’ve become a trusted resource for those facing breast cancer treatment, and let me tell you, it’s the one thing that gives me total gratification in my life. I hate so much when someone I know or a new friend gets introduced to me as they are about to embark on a journey I have already taken. But at the same time, I get to encourage them and assure them that they are in fact going to be okay. Just like I am…okay. I like being the one they call, and I like being able to share my story, answer their questions and try to alleviate their fears. Frankly, I can handle these conversations and welcome them any and every day.

But the one that is giving me pause this season is when I stand by my dear friend as her mother transitions to heaven. These are the conversations that no one wants to have, yet seem to be more frequent over the last several years. Sandy and I have literally raised our boys together…in fact, she even moved on my street so they could create our own Sand Lot neighborhood. That’s why I think she did anyway. I’ve known Sandy and her family all of my life, but we didn’t really forge our friendship until we found ourselves with two little boys and neither one of us knew a thing in the world about raising them. So, we set out to do that, together, and the beautiful part of that friendship is the extended family that came along with it. Mrs. Polly, or “Mamaw” as we all know her, has been there with her pom poms and cheers literally cheering our kids on as their biggest cheerleader, and I’m not kidding about that. In all the games our boys played together, including the ones in our backyards, the umpires/referees always knew where Mrs. Polly was sitting…well, her and my Big Daddy. She is one of those people who you want in your corner because when she loved you, she loved hard. When she was for you, she was all for you. Her wicked sense of humor made for quite a few laughs through the years, and speaking of which, Mrs. Polly had the best laugh. As a writer, one thing I always appreciated about her most though, was the text messages and Facebook Messenger messages she would periodically send me. She wrote very heartfelt and loving and always had a good word of encouragement for me. This week, I had to visit her for what I suspect will be the last time on this earth. You know readers, when Cassie asked me to write this column all those years ago, I had to make up my mind about my messaging. What did I want our readers to hear from me every month, column after column, year after year? I made my mind up early on that it would always be authentic and the stories would come, many times, from my personal experiences. I have been true to that platform, and perhaps I overshare sometimes, but honestly, nothing is more sacred or real than being with someone you love and respect and so much, as they transition from this life. As I left her house that day, I sat in my car for a while, and reflected on what just had happened. The most compelling part is the way Mrs. Polly was embracing the end of her life…with grace, with dignity, with her usual sense of humor. She wasn’t scared, she wasn’t worried, and she was completely confident of where she was going. It was, in a word, inspiring, and I will always be grateful to Sandy and her sisters for allowing me that privilege, to look through that lens with their mother. Whew. Cue the tears…then and now. I know my usual Christmas column is about the silly toys that are hot for the season or perhaps what fun Christmas outings you can take with your family, but this year, it feels more appropriate to be a reminder to focus less on the gift giving and focus more on the gift of life. We have had some tragedy in our community this year, and families are spending their first holidays without their loved ones. This is the hard stuff, friends, and the best gift we can give is simply being there for those that are hurting. Hurt seems to be more prevalent the older I get; and the precariousness of life becomes more obvious. With this season, let’s focus on the sacredness of life and spend our time meshed in our traditions and spending it with those we love so much. We’ve heard it all of our lives, but life is truly a gift and one of the most important things we can do is show gratitude for the days we are blessed to have. I pray for you and your family a very Merry Christmas and the happiest of holidays. Thank you for the blessing of being with you and your family each month on the pages of this wonderful magazine.

Cindy G. Foust is a wife, mom, author and blogger. You can find her blog at the alphabetmom.com for weekly columns about home life,  parenting, small business stories and insight with a smidgen of literacy. Give her a like or follow on Facebook and Instagram.