BAYOUKIDZ: IT TAKES A VILLAGE

Holding On To Life’s Precious Moments

Article by Cindy G. Foust

Greetings fellow “fall” readers as I hope this month’s column finds everyone enjoying what is my favorite time of year. I do love the whole pumpkin spice and everything nice kind of season…candy corn and chili…Hocus Pocus and Freddy Kreuger. Just kidding, I don’t like scary movies, at all, since that time in 10th grade when my parents got a brand new VCR and we rented Happy Birthday to Me. I’ve written about that before, right? When my parents bought one of the first on the market VCR’s and we started renting movies every weekend from Curtis Mathis? Anybody out there touched by this same memory? Yes, well, who knew that the blockbuster Happy Birthday to Me would serve to scare me for the rest of my life? And they say television doesn’t affect kids…I’m here to tell you it does, and years later, I still sleep with the doors booby trapped with my son’s golf clubs. Even though I have an alarm system. Theoretically, though, if the burglar comes in and knocks the golf clubs over, it will wake the house and we can escape through the hatch door in the laundry room. I’m just kidding, readers, I’m just trying to make light of my scaredy cat self. 

Speaking of being a scaredy cat…let me tell you all right now, the one thing that’s about to scare me to death is the fact that my son is getting married and moving out in November. Let me get one thing straight right off the cuff, I simply adore his future wife, like I couldn’t have handpicked one for him any better. We feel so blessed and so honored that Gracie is going to be our daughter-in-law. But I wish they could live with us! Right? My friends all laugh when I talk about the separation anxiety that I am already feeling because we have been fortunate that our son has lived at home though college. Most of their kids have “flown the coop” so to speak since they graduated. Scott and I (and our daughter, too) have been blessed that Robert Scott has been able to stay home a little longer with us. During this time, we have watched him finish college, start his career, buy a house (that he’s about to move into) and become Bobby Flay. What an honor. I think because he’s been such a good “roommate” that that’s the reason I am struggling with his leaving. 

I remember when he was born, like it was yesterday, that I started praying for his future wife…someone who would love him and cherish him (I know, I know, I sound like a Hallmark card), and would make him so happy. I do believe he has found that person. But what’s going to happen to me? What will happen to our family dynamic? Because it most certainly changes, and will look completely different in a few months. Now, I know Gracie’s parents are probably thinking the same thing about their child, so maybe we should get together for group therapy? But for me, the past 24 years are suddenly passing before my eyes. All the years we spent preparing him to move into his own life, and not the one we created for him, is now here. And trust me, it was in the blink of an eye. 

For all you young parents out there, take my word, the best years are those spent at the ballpark, or the school for Field Day, or having lunch with your 1st grader, or being the house where the friends “congregated” on Friday nights after the big game. What I wouldn’t give to be standing there in the kitchen making pancakes for about 10 of those boys. Those are some of the most treasured times of our lives and now, now we have to watch him take flight. And having him ready has involved an entire village. The grandparents, the aunts and uncles, the friend group’s parents, the church family, teachers, friends, the village can sometimes be so vast and widespread, but so important in helping raise our kids. I say it all the time on the pages of this column, parenting is not for the faint of heart. To sound more like that Hallmark card, it’s one of the most difficult yet the most gratifying jobs that we have. And trust me, I have mucked it up plenty. But the joy of watching my son and daughter mature and grow into the young adults its truly a gift. Are they perfect? Well, that depends on who you ask. If you ask their grandparents, they would say unapologetically “yes.” Anybody else have “those” grandparents out there? I look at my parents all the time and tell them they are not the same people who raised me. But they don’t care, they simply have these kids on a pedestal! But the truth is they aren’t perfect, none of us are, but in those flaws we have had teaching moments with our kids, just as our parents had with us. And now, as my son prepares to go and make his own home and prayerfully raise his own children, I will have the opportunity to turn into my parents, Scott’s parents and be “that grandmother.” Oh gosh, I’m not sure my heart can take all this excitement at one time. But I will do my best to be up for it. 

And in the meantime, as I look to the next few months, I am going to try to really slow down and soak it all in. It’s a new season for us, a different one, and one that will be full of some “happy tears.” But at the same time, it’s a season of joy and happiness for my son and his new bride and seeing their happiness will certainly make my transition easier. Excuse me for a minute, though, while I get stuck on memory lane and remember all those days of baseball and X-box and field trips to Six Flags and t-ball (championships because he insists his team won even though we didn’t keep score) and Christmas mornings. He may be ready to go, but I’ll just hold on a few more months and remind myself that he’s prepared for the real world with many thanks to God and my village. 

Cindy G. Foust is a wife, mom, author and blogger. You can find her blog at the alphabetmom.com for weekly columns about home life,  parenting, small business stories and insight with a smidgen of literacy. Give her a like or follow on Facebook and Instagram.