Ask Erin: Navigating a Table Setting

article by Erin Love

Is it just me, or does it feel like the holidays came more quickly this year? Parents of young children have often told me that the days, weeks, months and years fly by when you have a little one. Now I am seeing for myself how bittersweet motherhood actually is. With each holiday comes new experiences and opportunities for my little family, and I always want to be prepared for whatever they bring. One thing I know for sure is that there will be many impromptu get-togethers, parties and dinners to attend, and that means that it is time to brush up on our table manners and setting skills. For many, the modern art of table setting can be quite overwhelming. Fortunately though, once you’ve mastered the basics, the rest of the table setting will fall into place effortlessly.

Below are the rules that should be mastered:
1. The lower edge of each utensil should align with the bottom rim of the plate, which should be approximately one inch up from the edge of the table
2. There should be a one-inch space between the edge of the plate and the utensil on either side of it.
3. Set only utensils that are needed for the meal. For instance, if soup will not be served, there is no need to set the spoon out in the place setting.
4. Elbow room requires approximately fifteen inches between each place setting.
5. To avoid fingerprints on your silverware, hold each piece by the “waist” (the area between the handle and the eating end of the utensil). In the “old” days, butlers would wear white gloves while handling the silverware.
6. Always place knives with the blade facing inward, toward the plate.
7. Never place more than three pieces of flatware to either side of the plate. The only exception would be if an oyster fork is necessary.
8. Navigate the utensils from the outside in.
9. A napkin should be folded and placed either to the left of the place setting or in the middle of the dinner plate. It may also be folded and placed under the forks.
10. If coffee or tea is served with the meal, the cup and saucer should be placed directly to the right of the knives and spoon.

Now, let me get a bit more specific with a formal place setting:
*Note: There are a few different variations of a formal place setting. This is the most common.
Bread Plate – The bread plate is always to the left of the place setting and is usually set in the upper corner. *Tip – Remember to break your bread into bite-sized pieces to butter and place in your mouth.
Butter Knife – The butter knife should be placed at the top of the bread plate with the handle pointing to the right and the knife blade facing inward.
Water Glass – The water glass is always placed above each guest’s dinner knife.
Dessert Spoon and Fork – These utensils may be included with the table setting or they may be brought out just before dessert is served and after all remnants of dinner are cleared.
Below is a picture of what an informal place setting will most likely look like. This setting should be a breeze once you’ve mastered the formal setting.

Luckily, the mainstay etiquette rules for setting a table will not change, so what you learn now will last you a lifetime.