Your Voice Matters

article by Laura W. Clark

Ionce attended a meeting expecting a fairly heated debate regarding a proposed policy that several managers disliked. During the actual meeting, I listened to the debate and quickly noticed that few of my female colleagues spoke out against the issue. This floored me because many of them had confided in me during the days leading up to the meeting. After the meeting concluded, I asked a particularly passionate colleague why she remained silent during the discussion. She immediately responded in a defeated tone: “I didn’t think I had the expertise to offer a solution, so I felt it was best to not say anything at the risk of sounding ignorant.”

I immediately empathized with my friend. My mind flooded with several similar instances I had experienced during meetings in which I later regretted not articulating my thoughts. Apparently, I am not alone. The Harvard Business Review published a 2014 study that revealed women felt “alone, unsupported, outside their comfort zones, and unable to advocate forcefully for their perspectives in many high-level meetings.” I offer the below tips to help equip you before your next meeting, whether it be a one-on-one with your boss, a large departmental meeting, or a volunteer advisory board gathering.

1. Do your homework. You do not need to spend hours researching information before your meeting, but you should be armed with enough relevant data so that you can speak coherently on the topic. The act of preparation will also ensure you feel more confident during the meeting. Review any materials e-mailed to participants before the meeting, and jot down your ideas. Note any questions you may have as well. Questions illustrate your interest and often lead to a solution.
2. Voice your ideas based on your unique experience and perspective, not just your direct expertise. If you work in human resources, you are still qualified to offer advice on an issue facing the financial department. Elaborate on your opinions and include an anecdote that illustrates your understanding of the issue.
3. Avoid apologetic language. Do not begin your response with, “I just think that…” Instead, start strong with an emphatic, “I strongly suggest…” Remember that you have earned your place at the table, and there is no need to soften your message by using apologetic language or downplaying your expertise and experience.
4. Always ask to be included in the agenda. I cannot count the number of times I chose not to be on the agenda because I deemed my issues not important enough to be included. A meeting is a great opportunity to highlight your accomplishments and communicate what you have been contributing to the company. It is important for your colleagues and supervisors to have an active understanding of your role within the company.
5. Do not multi-task during a meeting. Avoid looking at your phone or laptop, even if others are doing so. This immediately signals to others that you are not paying attention and that you are disengaged. While it sounds counterintuitive, do not take scrupulous notes during the meeting because you will be viewed as a junior team member. Taking a few notes relevant to your area is fine, but remember to remain engaged, make eye contact with others, and voice your opinions as much as possible.
6. Ask yourself, why are you attending this meeting? Remind yourself why you care about your role and your company. When you are committed to your job, you feel a deeper sense of purpose, which increases your confidence. Thinking about these things helps you reframe the notion that you are “showing off” by speaking in the meeting. Instead, you are expressing your opinion because you care about the topic. And, revealing your passion for your organization’s success builds your credibility.
7. Remember to pause and take deep breaths before speaking. You will feel calmer and more confident, and your voice will actually sound stronger. Allow yourself to pause between thoughts. Doing this ensures you will not fill the silence with filler words and phrases such as “um” or “sort of.”
8. Understand when your contributions might be more effective in a one-on-one conversation. One of the best mentors I ever had believed in the old adage, “Praise in public, criticize in private.” Her philosophy caused me to carefully consider my words. Would my comments simply embarrass someone? If so, the answer regarding whether or not to publicly share was clear. If you are unsure, it is best to mitigate any potential embarrassment and share your thoughts privately.

Laura W. Clark, owner of Vivian’s Voice, LLC, a communications consulting company, can be reached at [email protected]